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Poring over front pages: Friday Update

24 Friday Jan 2025

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News:

“Delirium” should appear in a few days on the Crystal Lake Patreon for the month’s Liminal Spaces Shallow Waters contest, voting a few days after that, if you want to enjoy a month’s worth of liminal flash fiction horror.

I had some good news that fell through because I withdrew, so I’m still reeling a bit from that.

Works in Progress:

I continue editing the Dracula retelling, but as anticipated, the inauguration inaugurated a great deal of distraction and fear, which is not conducive to productivity. I hope to finish it before the end of the month, but I won’t at the present pace.

Given that the future I thought we were going to have in a reasonable world is gone, I’ve lost a lot of urge to publish and gained a greater urge to hunker down and just write my things until the world makes sense to me again. I don’t know when that’s going to be.

I’ll have things to put in the WIP section of my updates. I’ll finish the Meridian series. I’ll still put out A Nightmare for All Seasons, maybe other poetry collections in the future, because they have the lowest of stakes. If a submission call crosses my path, and something I’ve written or that I have an idea for fits, I’ll take it. I enjoy doing the Shallow Waters prompts. But I don’t think I’ll be in an almighty desperate rush to be read or to try to make a living off of this anymore.

That future is gone. For now.

Books I’m Reading:

The Fisherman by John Langan
Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
Sister, Maiden, Monster by Lucy A. Snyder (finished)

Things I’m Listening To:

Fleurie
Lykke Li
Lily Kershaw
Ruelle/Maggie Eckford

Things I’m Watching:

Moana
Knives Out
Brilliant Minds series (finished)
Hannibal series
Will Trent series
Celebrity Jeopardy series
Grey’s Anatomy series
The Equalizer series
Found series
The Irrational series
Abbott Elementary series
Home Town series
White Collar series
NCIS series
CSI series
CSI: NY series
Columbo series
Broadchurch series

Poem of the Week:

ghost haunting the organ sewn in place of your own,
echo of DNA memory, the graft of a soul
hitchhiking in yours for a while. see, feel things
not your own. honoring that which gave you life again
won’t hurt. two hearts in symbiosis on borrowed time.

Another brick in the wall: Friday Update

17 Friday Jan 2025

Posted by in A Few Thoughts, Novels, Poetry, Series, Short Stories

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News:

Under my other name, Book & Candle (Meridian Book 5)—a witch forms a conditional alliance with a veteran demon hunter to find her friend, who was taken by succubi—is available for preorder. This one involves contractual obligations, itching spells, and older characters, though still a significant age gap. It was great fun to write a powerful character in an unusually vulnerable position, and I hope it’s just as enjoyable to read.

My horror poem “Dunce,” about a child forgotten in a corner, is available to read for free in Memento Mori Magazine‘s free newsletter, Morsus Vitae, here.

Had a doctor’s check-up and had a long talk (which I greatly appreciated) to determine where I go from here this year on my health journey. I don’t anticipate the blood tests will show much improvement in my problem areas, unfortunately, but at least I have a path to take for some of my other issues that I can’t afford to push off much longer, even if I hope they’re not something too bad. Based on prior experience, I’m probably fine (in the sense that my issues won’t harm me, even if they’re not the most fun things in the world), but your body’s warranty runs out at thirty-five, so I can’t lean on that assumption anymore.

Whether or not I’m successful at finishing up the DRI and Masque edits before the end of the month, I’ll be signing up to work for Instacart. The gig economy is not ideal, of course, but I need money flowing in instead of out (not least to cover medical costs), and I actually like grocery shopping, so it may be a good fit. I’ll be easing into it in February, figuring out my best schedule and hopefully not venturing too far from home.

Works in Progress:

I was supposed to start editing the Dracula reimagining, but I’m having a hard time focusing. I’ll be trying again today and shooting for finishing in a week and a half or less. Honestly, though, I’m not sure what the inauguration is going to do to me.

However, I did manage to write two pieces of flash, both of which got sent out to their respective submission calls in good shape, so it was still a productive week.

Books I’m Reading:

The Fisherman by John Langan
Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
Sister, Maiden, Monster by Lucy A. Snyder

Things I’m Listening To:

Christmas playlist
Dracula soundtracks

Things I’m Watching:

101 Dalmatians (1996)
102 Dalmatians
Grotesquerie series (finished)
Celebrity Jeopardy series
Grey’s Anatomy series
The Equalizer series
Found series
The Irrational series
Abbott Elementary series
Home Town series
White Collar series
NCIS series
CSI series
CSI: NY series
Columbo series
Broadchurch series

Poem of the Week:

there aren’t as many stars
anymore i have to squint
to see more than haze
or shadow on the moon
maybe it’s how much i drink
or the long long days
maybe i’m just tired
or maybe the sun wants to sleep
come inside my darling
the light is getting dim

Too many marshmallows: Friday Update

06 Friday Dec 2024

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News:

For the first time, I was included in Ellen Datlow‘s list of the best short horror recommendations of the 2023 year with “Show Me” from Bound in Flesh and “The Thing That Crawls” from Unspeakable Horror 3. It’s a long list, but it’s still an honor to be part of it.

I sold some things this week; I’ll share more info when they’re announced.

Had what seemed like a really good job interview this week. Crossing my fingers for a second.

Don’t have a lot of Christmas spirit, but I’ve started to have a little. Creeping into its realm with eggnog, Little Debbie Christmas Tree Cakes (I don’t know why they’re better than LD’s other vanilla cakes, but they are, especially frozen), Christmas viewing, and Christmas music.

Works in Progress:

I’m about halfway through the first-round edits of the Dracula reimagining. I don’t know what the coming world is going to be like and what place my writing has in it, but I think the DRI is a solid piece. It’s unmistakably a reimagining but functions independently from its source material as well; it’s not superfluous or simply a beat-for-beat retelling. It reminds me of back when I read really good fanfiction, how it felt like it was in conversation with canon but was its own thing, too.

I’m still not quite at my full strength, speed, and attention span yet, but it’s improved this week. I did get my period, which was milder than usual (yay!) but occasionally uncomfortable enough to interrupt my work, plus something that seemed like a UTI (sorry, TMI), which I’m treating, yet I still moved forward faster than the weeks before.

Might try to do some poetry this next week. I had plans for long poetry this November, but my soul just couldn’t do beauty last month after the election. I function best like the Romantics: great emotions remembered in quiet stillness, of which there has been precious little in my heart or head.

Things I’m Reading:

The Apocalypse and Satan’s Glory Hole by Timothy W. Long and Jonathan Moon (finished)
Borrasca by The_Dalek_Emperor (r/NoSleep) (finished)
The Fisherman by John Langan
Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier

Things I’m Listening To:

The Mist soundtrack
Dracula soundtracks
Christmas playlist

Things I’m Watching:

Elf
Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist
Wishmaster
Is It Cake? Holiday series (finished)
The Christmas Cookie Showdown series
Holiday Baking Championship series
Holiday Wars series
The Great British Baking Show series
The Irrational series
Broadchurch series
NCIS series
Columbo series
Supernatural series
Grey’s Anatomy series
S.W.A.T. series

Feast days: Friday Update

29 Friday Nov 2024

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News:

Question Not My Salt is 99c for an ebook (for those without KU) through December 3. Question Not My Salt also got a great shout-out from Paul Preston at Books of Horror.

Screams, edited by Judith Sonnet, is also coming out next week, December 1, through Amazon. You can pre-order it now. My short story about being haunted by a number, “Six,” is part of this anthology.

Works in Progress:

I went ahead and let Unhallow’d Guests go for now. I am in no state to write, and I’m just going to have to accept that. I’ll probably try easing back into it with short stories in the new year, but considering that the inauguration hasn’t even happened yet, who knows if I’m going to be in a better state then.

I’ve started editing the Dracula reimagining. That’s also slow, in part because of family in town this week. I’m hoping I have more of an attention span next week. I still may not be in the best state to properly edit this on a developmental level, but I can at least clean it up. I also may not be able to take joy in this like I did last month, but I’m still reminded how much my brain gloms onto Dracula things, regardless of anhedonia. So I’m probably enjoying it somewhere in my brain, but I can’t feel it.

I don’t like when I can’t write or edit, because then I feel like I’m doing absolutely nothing, and I don’t need help feeling useless. I’m still aiming to finish editing the DRI and Masque by the end of the year.

Things I’m Reading:

The Apocalypse and Satan’s Glory Hole by Timothy W. Long and Jonathan Moon
The Fisherman by John Langan
Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier

Things I’m Listening To:

Nightwish
Dracula soundtracks

Things I’m Watching:

Murder, She Wrote: The Last Free Man
Alien: Romulus
Abigail
The Christmas Cookie Showdown series
Holiday Baking Championship series
Holiday Wars series
White Collar series
Ghosts (US) series
Abbott Elementary series
The Irrational series
Broadchurch series
NCIS series
Columbo series
9-1-1 series
Doctor Odyssey series
Supernatural series
Grey’s Anatomy series

Waiting for autumn: Friday Update

11 Friday Oct 2024

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News:

Halloween and autumn decorations are up in the house, but a proper Texas autumn should be coming next week. In autumn and winter, we too often have to get by on vibes rather than weather, but I’m not complaining about the milder late summer or what autumn and winter we do get.

In Found 2 news, they’re pushing the release date back a week to the 25th.

Works in Progress:

I finished the Dracula reimagining on Saturday, which was a total of 26 days’ work. By the end, I had 103,246 words, which was less than I thought I’d have. So the final word count is actually quite manageable, because I should be able to cut it under 100K words without trouble. To give you an idea of novel size, the original Dracula is around 160K words (about the length of an average Thorns novel).

The 103K was prior to stitching everything together, removing the outline (which I always include as word count so that it feels productive), and writing a new scene a few days later. After writing the new scene, I had 46 separate files, most of them composed of only one scene and averaging about 2-3K words.

Once I stitched everything together, removed any parts already marked to cut, and added the new scene, my official first draft word count is 99,222 words. Yet, even a few days later, I’m still missing being in that world and wanting more, which I think is a good thing, that I was able to enjoy it so much for so long. I’m slated to edit the DRI sometime in December, depending on when I finish Masque edits, and those are going to be more involved.

However, I get the feeling that something’s missing from the DRI, like I either need to add significantly more or, paradoxically, cut down some things I like to make it even more streamlined than I tried to write it, closer to the original conception. I think I’ll do one editing pass for consistency, since I wrote it out of order, before sending it to my alpha reader to see if she can pinpoint what might be missing or if I’m just perpetually unsatisfied in the Dracula world, which explains the plethora of adaptations, retellings, and reimaginings in my collection.

With the DRI done and dusted, I’ve moved on to editing The Damp, which is the only thing I can fit in before PitDark. I don’t think anything will come of it, but it’s worth a shot. I’ll shop it around a bit, but in the absence of interest, I think it would actually make a good double novella feature with A Woman Alone one day. I think I can finish with the first round of edits by Tuesday. Honestly, the first draft is pretty solid. Most of these edits are minor. Maybe, just maybe, I can have it done by next weekend at the latest?

Cleaned up some poetry from September and early October. From some recurring themes, I might have an idea for another mini-collection/chapbook (because those have been so successful /s). A few of the pieces were really solid, however, even though I had some trouble getting into the long-poem groove.

Things I’m Reading:

Found edited by Gabino Iglesias and Andrew Cull (finished)
The Apocalypse and Satan’s Gloryhole by Timothy W. Long and Jonathan Moon (bizarro horror picked up at Texas Frightmare, and it is weird)

Things I’m Listening To:

Halloween playlist

Things I’m Watching:

The Craft
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark
Halloween (2018)
Thir13en Ghosts
The Order (2003)
Halloween Wars series
Halloween Baking Championship series
The Last Bite series
Outrageous Pumpkins series
Columbo series
Abbott Elementary series
Shogun series
S.W.A.T. series
Supernatural series

Poem of the Week:

you won’t hear it
until it is upon you
with smothering wings
talon to pierce flesh
and wide lantern eye
an owl sure an owl
let’s go with that

Show me your teeth: Friday Update

27 Friday Sep 2024

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News:

Another break in the dry spell of short story acceptances: My story “Six,” about being haunted by a number (inspired by my obsession with maths while in fever dreamstate, not even kidding, it’s a recurring thing), is going to be part of Screams, edited by Judith Sonnet. I’ve been wanting to work with her since we were both in Ruth Anna Evans’ Ooze, so this is a real treat. It’s not a themed anthology but is meant to be a throwback to classic horror, from gory and pulpy to quiet—just downright spooky or scary. It’s slated to come out on Christmas.

Somewhat eerily, “Six” was finally accepted after six rejections. *Twilight Zone theme song*

I also had another job interview today, and I think it went really well. Crossing my fingers.

In leg injury news, my legs are almost completely back to normal except that the original injury isn’t recovering. It’s healed. There’s no pain, no tugging, but it must have healed with too much tangled fibers or scar tissue, because the muscle remains atrophied. The muscle isn’t working, so the other muscles continue to overwork, and the whole leg is weaker. I can’t up the resistance on the elliptical machine, but I can do a whole hour now without reinjuring. I can play pickleball with more vim and vigor. I can walk without pain, although I still start out stiff and sometimes limp a bit. So I still have to be careful going forward, because all these injuries have made me more susceptible to reinjury, but I think I can fairly say that this is as good as it’s going to get, and since that’s without pain, I’ll take it, even it isn’t the ideal outcome.

Works in Progress:

I’m still working on the Dracula retelling. I don’t think I’ll finish by the end of the month, but maybe by next Friday or the end of that weekend? I’ve got to say, the way this book is flowing for me is quite amazing, and it’s so much fun. And I’m incredibly thankful for the outline; it keeps me on task. I have detail for every scene regarding what elements are most relevant and why they’re important. A lot of the verbiage is dialogue, which I like to keep naturalistic, occasional tangents and all, so I sometimes forget what the point of a scene is. So it’s nice having something I can reference to remember where I’m going.

I’m at around 70,000 words and still have three pages’ worth of outline to tackle. I did skip forward earlier this week to do one of the really important scenes, then jumped back to fill in the undone bits (not quite caught up, but close). Otherwise, I’ve actually been working chronologically, to develop the character and conflicts set forth by future scenes already written.

I wouldn’t be surprised if this ended up hitting 110-120K words. To be clear, I envisioned this as a taut, modern reimagining at about 60-80K. The way I viewed it, the shorter size would justify the changes to the story and the found media (new epistolary) format.

I’m not disappointed, per se. As I said above, I’m having a blast, because this has been a dream project, and it’s going so much better than the last time I tried to write it. But it’s not what I wanted it to be, I’m not sure it’s justified as anything but a novelty pet project, not sure if I’ll be able to get it short enough to effectively go on sub. I’m not sure what it is or what to do with it now that it isn’t what I set out to write. Are the formatting and changes enough to keep it interesting to other people who love a good Dracula reimagining as much as me? I guess we’ll know the answer to that eventually.

Things I’m Reading:

Found edited by Gabino Iglesias and Andrew Cull

Things I’m Listening To:

Halloween playlist
Dracula collection playlist

Things I’m Watching:

Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid
Columbo series
Abbott Elementary series
Shogun series
America’s Got Talent series (finished)
American Horror Story: Cult series
Worst Ex Ever series
S.W.A.T. series
Supernatural series
Grey’s Anatomy series

Poem of the Week: (from September 2021)

I bring with me
A harvest of sour apples
And slices of honeycomb
Cut with soft cheese
Drizzle with honey
This must have been
What the serpent offered
I too would have fallen
For a cool breeze
And a sharp feast
Served on scales.

Notes: Friday Update

20 Friday Sep 2024

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News:

I’ve had a brief break in the drought with “Nuisance Notifications,” a short story that was accepted by Gabino Iglesias and Andrew Cull for Found 2: More Stories of Found Footage Horror. I’m really honored to be a part of it, and it’s HWA pro-rate, so that’s a bit of a relief, too. It’ll cover one month’s medications, thank goodness.

I make no bones about how much I love epistolary and its progeny, found footage. Found media in general is such a great way to write spare, tight horror. The first Found is amazing so far, and Found 2 is available for pre-order and is coming out October 18.

Works in Progress:

This is my second week working on the Dracula reimagining, and I think I figured out why I’m having such a good time with it. I mean, sure, I’m living the dream of writing a DRI, which has been on my bucket list for a long time, and especially since the last effort was such a disaster, having it work makes a helluva difference.

The reason why it’s consistently fun, though, in spite of the fact that I’m doing everything differently than usual, is because it doesn’t feel like I’m writing a novel. Because it’s modern epistolary/found media and I have discrete documents for each piece, it feels more like I’m writing a bunch of themed short pieces, even though I know I’m writing a novel. Every few thousand words (give or take), I close a document and cross it off my outline, and it hits my brain with endorphins like I’ve finished. So instead of having to wait a month to get that little high, I get one or a few a day. It’s nice.

It wouldn’t work for just any project. This epistolary novel really is like making different-sized granny squares for a throw blanket rather than do a continuous series of crochet stitches. Sure, I have a pattern. I’m not just stitching willy-nilly. And both kinds end up the same size one way or another. But each granny square has its own end, to eventually be stitched together when they’re all done, rather than building a single giant throw on my lap. I couldn’t separate out chapters this way, because it all still feels connected. It’s a unique project, with a unique process, and I’m really enjoying the novelty of both.

Right now, I’m at about 37,000 words of a projected 90,000, but I’m still concerned this is going to cross over 100K, maybe even up to 120K, because I have an awful lot of my outline left to cross out (although some scenes have more notes than others, so it’s a little deceiving). In edits, I’ll probably remove a lot of editorializing; it’s there for me more than the story right now, despite some intended subjectivity. But it’s definitely bigger in scope than I thought. I’d originally conceived DRI to be minimalistic, kind of a counterpoint to the original Dracula tome. Maybe some of the things I’ve written simply won’t be included? But I love relevant detritus and effluvia. It’s like the pumpkin spice of a novel. I guess, as usual, we’ll see.

Definitely throws me even more off-schedule, though. I probably won’t get as much edited by next PitDark as I’d planned, especially if I get the edits for Book & Candle (Meridian 5) back within the next month.

Nevertheless, I’ll aim for crossing off as much of DRI as possible this month, finishing as soon as possible in October, and editing Masque and The Damp before PitDark. Masque will be the wild card, because I already know I need to rewrite the end, and I’ll hear from my alpha reader if there’s anything else I need to reconfigure. Maybe I’ll get The Damp out of the way first, because it feels like all it needs is a standard double edit, and it’s shorter.

Things I’m Reading:

Needful Things by Stephen King (finished)
Found edited by Gabino Iglesias and Andrew Cull

Things I’m Listening To:

Hannibal series soundtracks
DRI playlist
Dracula collection playlist

Things I’m Watching:

Hannibal
Aliens
Nosferatu (1979)
Columbo series
America’s Got Talent series
American Horror Story: Cult series
Unsolved Mysteries (Netflix) series (finished)
Worst Ex Ever series
Supernatural series
Grey’s Anatomy series
Murder, She Wrote series (finished!)

Poem of the Week: (from September 2021)

The nexus of our roads
Holds the power of convergence
Within this taut place,
This knot of paths taken
And paths not taken
And paths yet to take.
We call upon the dervish wind
For all curses and hexes
Under a dust-cloud sun.

Dreaming of autumn: Friday Update

12 Friday Jul 2024

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News:

I wouldn’t normally share a promotional Instagram post, but I so rarely do videos of myself. The Brazilian company that’s putting Question Not My Salt out in Portuguese wanted an intro video, so I obliged. It’s short and sweet and here.

Works in Progress:

Because I’ve been writing hard horror for over a year, which my alpha reader doesn’t like, I forgot that Masque could be sent to her. When I realized, I tossed it her direction, with a goal of editing in September.

I finished editing May Cooler Heads Prevail. After the initial cuts, it went under 20K words, but then I added a few more scenes and brought it back up over 21K, which officially makes it a short novella. However, I don’t know what genre it is and, therefore, who to send it to. It’s supernatural or fabulism, but both of those are subgenres, and there aren’t enough elements to make it either fantasy or horror. I can only think of a few markets with broader speculative calls. I might end up self-publishing.

MCHP took longer than expected, but after I wrote a piece of flash that made me feel like a piece of chewed gum writing it, and next on my docket is working on the professional edits of Crooked House (Thorns 5), which is the soft conclusion of this portion of the Thorns series. I think I keep delaying because I don’t want this part to be over or to move on to the next.

Books I’m Reading:

Mary Reilly by Valerie Martin (finished)
The Tommyknockers by Stephen King

Things I’m Listening To:

Old Favorites playlist
Fourth of July playlist
Ambient YouTube playlists

Things I’m Watching:

Independence Day
Jaws
Lucy
Longlegs
Elsbeth series (finished)
The Rookie series (finished)
Kitchen Nightmares series
Hoarders series
The Amazing Race series
America’s Got Talent series
CSI: Miami series
CSI: NY series
CSI series
Supernatural series
White Collar series
Murder, She Wrote series

Poem of the Week:

it doesn’t matter
how our bones break
and blood blooms beneath
our exteriors
it doesn’t matter
that our wings have been
snapped from our shoulders
and our halos tarnished
with rust like mold
a devil’s only response
to the fall
is to rise
again

Twisted nerve: Friday Update

05 Friday Jul 2024

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Drift is an excellent vacation read, short and sweet. Highly recommend reading it by the water.

News:

My sea story “Snot” is a finalist in this month’s Crystal Lake Shallow Waters contest. Enjoy the Horror in Paradise theme for $5/month.

Works in Progress:

I finished Masque soon after last week’s update for a total of 110,972 words. I’ve already come up with a few ways to improve it in the first edit. Given my attention span, I think I’m almost certainly burned out from pushing the pace (not to mention reasonably afraid and depressed with the state of the Union), so I took the weekend to try to recover. Editing all month should help that, too.

I’m working on the edits for May Cooler Heads Prevail now and should finish the first edit by end of day. Since it’s so timely with its themes, it’s difficult to push through, but depending on escapism is difficult, too, because it feels like falling for bread and circuses, being the toad in the boiling pot and telling myself everything is fine and I don’t need to worry. The trouble is that I don’t know what to do if things go more wrong than they already have. If the rim of the pot is too high, what’s a poor toad to do when they realize the pot is boiling?

Books I’m Reading:

Mary Reilly by Valerie Martin
The Tommyknockers by Stephen King

Things I’m Listening To:

Old Favorites playlist
Fourth of July playlist
Witchy YouTube playlists

Things I’m Watching:

The First Omen
Midsommar
Under Paris
The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It
Hamilton
The Bay
Elsbeth series
Kitchen Nightmares series
Summer Baking Championship series (finished)
Hoarders series
Worst Roommate Ever series (finished)
The Amazing Race series
America’s Got Talent series
CSI: Miami series
CSI: NY series
Supernatural series
White Collar series
Murder, She Wrote series

Poem of the Week:

the universe is a night-blooming flower
creation its opening into light in darkness
stardust the persistent scent of jasmine
expanding in hedonistic spread
but preparing eventually to close


Ants at the picnic: Friday Update

28 Friday Jun 2024

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News:

No writing news, but in personal news, I’m walking, swimming, and up to 30 minutes on the elliptical, so I decided to take a chance on playing pickleball with my next-door neighbors. Everywhere else hurt, but my injured leg did not (although with compensating muscles stiff and aching, my leg ended up having some trouble for a few days).

It’s a helluva hellish season to start playing, and I need to figure out how to better protect my face from the sun, since it burned again despite sunscreen, but I’m already getting better second time around. It’s a lot of fun. (And hopefully less stiffness and aching this time. After the injury and due to other experiences, I suspect I’m slower than normal with muscle recovery in general. I feel like I’m not old enough for it to just be getting old, but with 40 creeping up in the next few years, maybe I’m wrong.)

Works in Progress:

I did the math and wished I hadn’t. Here, halfway through the year, I only have an 8% acceptance rate, two of them no-pay and only one was HWA pro rate. It generally hasn’t been a very successful year, and when I’m unemployed, the rejections hit harder from a financial standpoint (I did recently have a very nice personal rejection, though). There’s still another half year to go, and I know this is just how it sometimes goes. I have to keep reminding myself that the universe doesn’t actually punish desperation.

I’m this close to finishing Masque at almost 110K words. Period and post-flu fatigue got the best of me and pulled my daily word counts farther back than I would like. I will not be able to finish writing and editing the novel this month, given that we’re only a few days from July, so I’ll set it aside to edit later, which I think might be for the best. Sometimes I like it, but sometimes I think I’m the most horrible writer ever, which tells me to put some distance between us. I’m not entirely happy with the ending, but I get the feeling I’ll like it better upon the next read-through.

I am, however, really proud of myself for writing Masque, for taking the chance on a freaking ambitious story—in style and scope, given historicals (even alts) are not my forte—and committing myself to it with exceptional discipline (until ill health hit, but that’s not my fault and I shouldn’t penalize myself for it). More importantly, for finally tackling something I’ve wanted to do for a long, long time. I don’t know if anything will come of it. I came up with the idea pre-COVID, but there’s no getting away from the influence of COVID in the novel, and people might simply not be interested in plague stories for a long while. But I’m still proud of myself for doing it.

Books I’m Reading:

Mary Reilly by Valerie Martin
The Tommyknockers by Stephen King

Things I’m Listening To:

Nocturne playlist
Old Favorites playlist
Bach organ music

Things I’m Watching:

The Little Mermaid (2023)
Ghosts (US) series (finished)
The Rookie series
Kitchen Nightmares series
Summer Baking Championship series
The Amazing Race series
America’s Got Talent series
Abbott Elementary series
CSI: Miami series
CSI: NY series
CSI series
Supernatural series
Murder, She Wrote series

Poem of the Week: This lyric poem was written last year as a way to process the 2016 Pulse Massacre, 49 dead. I’m always late to the processing party. But it seems like a good way to conclude Pride Month.

a moment to remember
lifetime to forget
branded brass and
dust to dust
envy to ecstasy
a crater of regret

karma in a coma
mad fate lurks with teeth
slaughterhouse wild
kills and cries
an indifferent sky
and carnage beneath

you taught us to die
you’d rather we lie
so we fight to live
what more blood and sacrifice
would you have us give
no matter where
we need to hide
we are still alive

mirrors shatter
to spiderweb glass
on the dance floor
let all of the
othered world burn
a multicolored mass

heads held high
under brick-dust rust
a hundred needles
dirty for nothing
silent genocide
held breath hushed

you taught us to die
you’d rather we lie
so we fight to live
what more blood and sacrifice
would you have us give
no matter where
we need to hide
we are still alive

a moment of silence
what did quiet get us
dance dance revolution
blow out your eardrums
no thoughts no prayers
don’t let them forget us

we’ve both got rings
show us where to sign
where you get yours
and we get ours
and no one else
gets what’s mine

maybe sometimes we’re sex
and sometimes we’ve love
nothing wrong to hold
to sink and close
eyes in the dark
can’t that be enough

you taught us to die
you’d rather we lie
so we fight to live
what more blood and sacrifice
would you have us give
no matter where
we need to hide
we are still alive