I’m incredibly thrilled to return to the Q&C fold, this time with my beautifully lush novel Masque—a bucket list story, with influences from historical romance, gothic fiction, noir, slashers, and body horror, and I can’t believe it’s going out into the world in 2027.
And, like Drift, it’s probably one of my more mainstream stories as well, accessible to a wider audience without as worrying of a warning before reading. I can’t wait for you to read it, but we’re both going to have to be patient.
So I have absolutely wonderful news that I’ve been sitting on until we finalized the contract, but my short novel Question Not My Salt is going to be published in 2024 through the new Crystal Lake Entertainment extreme horror imprint Torrid Waters.
Texas Chain Saw Massacre + Hannibal by way of The Menu, this isn’t just girl dinner—it’s family dinner. Come for Thanksgiving. Stay for the Feast.
Now, this is unflinchingly extreme horror, which means blood, guts, sex, gore, and a bucket full of content warnings, so it’s not for the squeamish. I’ll provide more details as we get closer to the release. But this is my first non-self-published novel through this name (erotic romance is a different kind of business, so what’s written under my other name is not comparable). It still feels surreal that I can say that someone else is publishing my book.
My dense submerged horror story “Arms Race,” finalist in the Crystal Lake Shallow Waters flash fiction contest, was posted on Wednesday. The contest is still going with Boat/Ship/Sub horror, and reading and voting is a lot of fun, worth the $5 tier.
There’s a release party for The Book of Queer Saints Vol 2 on October 30, with live readings. (I’m an alternate.) If you’d like a pre-Halloween celebration, this is a great place to listen to some excellent queer horror.
And of course, as shared in the previous post, Puppeteer (Thorns Book 4), is officially out as an e-book (Amazon, all other vendors). Now’s a great time to get into the Thorns series, because book five is off to its editors and will be coming out May next year for a mid-series conclusion.
No luck with the short story collection or a short story that was shortlisted and rejected right on the margin, both which were really disappointing. I’m still not entirely sure whether I should break up the collection and sell piecemeal or hold it together until the new year. I just submitted one of the poems to a call, so I guess I’ll see. (On a side note, the portfolio I sent has some of the best poems I’ve written, and it’s striking how I’ve improved as a poet. It’s going to be deflating when they’re likely rejected, but *shrugs* such is the job.)
In personal news, I selected a physical therapist, so I’m headed to PT next Monday. I’ve never done PT before—new experience. I’m worried about pain, but hopefully they can help me with my gait once I get out of the support boot again, and I’ll have some real guidance on how to take care of myself, even though I’d hoped to heal on my own (much cheaper). The muscle pain in both legs from a few weeks ago has calmed down. I’m still careful, but at least I’m not despairing. I didn’t realize how bad it was until things got better.
My personal goal of finishing unfinished TV shows continues. I knocked Under the Banner of Heaven and season 1 of Interview with the Vampire off my list, and I’ll continue AHS: Cult next.
Works in Progress:
No rest for the wicked. I finished the Meridian Book 4 edits and submitted it to the publishing house (accepted, since it was part of a series and they get first refusal, but they haven’t refused me yet).
I wrote two short pieces and polished them for submissions.
Now I’m working on my next horror novel, which is even more extreme than QNMS, so I’m intimidated by it and prone to procrastination. Still, I’d like to reach 20K words on In the Dollhouse We All Wait by the end of the weekend. Not sure at this point how long it’s going to be. I’m estimating somewhere in the 70K-word region, but it really could go either way.
Books I’m Reading:
IT by Stephen King Discount Armageddon by Seanan McGuire The First Five Minutes of the Apocalypse edited by Brandon Applegate This World Belongs to Us edited by Michael W. Phillips, Jr.
Music I’m Listening To:
Halloween playlist Haunted Mansion ambience music
Things I’m Watching:
Muppet Haunted Mansion Rob Zombie’s Halloween The Haunted Mansion (2003) Interview with the Vampire series (caught up) Halloween Wars series Halloween Baking Championships series Outrageous Pumpkins series Buffy the Vampire Slayer series Scream Queens series Under the Banner of Heaven series (finished) Kitchen Nightmares series
Poem of the Week:
say you want the healing to begin but you offer no salve no salvation no service administration you don’t want peace doesn’t matter if people are in pieces as long as it’s quiet
I’ve been having trouble putting together this end-of-year list because of a deep sense of despair and hopelessness for this future, be it this year or five years from now. I recognize this as depression, partially situational and partially bad brain chemistry that I don’t treat with medication, just sort of learn to live with. As a result, I can build momentum without motivation, and I will proceed with plans made, but God, it’s hard to believe in myself.
2022 was the year that I finally gave up the ghost at the job I’ve been paying the bills with for eight years. My last day is next Friday, and even though it was my decision, I can’t help feeling like it’s a kind of failure that I couldn’t make it work. I suppose it’s like a bad marriage in a way. You know it’s best for everyone if you separate, but you invested all of this time that now feels like it yields nothing. And that’s where I’m mentally stuck right now, although I have general plans of pivoting industries and I have the privilege of a financial cushion.
I’ve tried to pivot before, and it didn’t go so well, so I’ve got that failure hanging over me to remind me that this may not work out. I have back-up options if that happens, but it’s still not the best personal encouragement for making such a big change.
Less depressing changes in my personal life include getting to watch my niece grow so much between turning one and turning two. She’s gone from being a baby to a little girl with opinions and personality, and being called Tía is strange and amazing.
I’ve also had a banner writing year because of a slew of poems and short stories sold, which is the kind of encouragement I needed and tells me that I’m doing something right. Between flat rates and royalties, I made over a thousand dollars, which is a milestone I’ve never reached before. Now, because of PUPPETEER professional edits, I spent significantly more, so I still haven’t made an actual profit, but getting paid pro rates on some poems and short stories is incredibly gratifying.
Because of quitting my job and having a block of unpaid months, I’m going to make it a point in 2023 to write and edit more with the aim of selling. I have a handful of longer works that need to be edited for submission, and I’m going to take my ‘sabbatical’ to do that as well as get some sleep (rest and rejuvenation).
This year didn’t produce any self-published novels because I had other deadlines to meet, but here are my stats for writing this year, not including the editing work done on those novels with an aim for self-publishing this year. Considering I never thought I could do short form or poetry well, I’m tremendously proud of my short-form writing accomplishments, if frustrated by how far behind I am on my novella/novel schedule. I also can’t thank Quill & Crow enough for seeing value and beauty in so many of my gothic and horror pieces in 2022.
– wrote at least one flash poem a day, including a 31-part long concept poem for December – wrote 15 short stories, 1 novelette – planned to finish a novel by the end of the year and start a new one, but dayjob required a lot of overtime and energy in December, so I’m almost finished but not quite – published 3 poems and 6 short stories, with more to be announced and published in 2023
Poetry:
“Goddamned,” Crow Calls: Volume 4, Quill & Crow Publishing House, June 12, 2022 “The Chase,” Crow Calls: Volume 4, Quill & Crow Publishing House, June 12, 2022 “An Empyrean Con,” Bloodless, Sliced Up Press, October 28, 2022
Short Stories:
“Resin,” Beyond the Veil, Ghost Orchid Press, February 9, 2022 “A Still and Weathered Stone,” The Crow’s Quill, Quill & Crow Publishing House, June 2022 issue “Tastes of Desperation,” Tales from Brackish Harbor, Quill & Crow Publishing House, August 13, 2022 “Lullaby,” The Crow’s Quill, Quill & Crow Publishing House, October 2022 issue “Wandering Lights,” Halloween Horrors, Black Widow Press, October 13, 2022 “Ragged,” The Crow’s Quill, Quill & Crow Publishing House, November 2022 issue
It’s my plan for 2023 to continue submitting new and trunk work to short story and poetry submission calls, but I’m going to focus more on long form this year, including completing some of my contracted novel work and wrapping up stories already slated for self-publication (with editors already paid for editing work on most of them). But anything else as yet unassigned for self-publication, I’m going to either try to submit to good indie presses (novellas and shorter novels) or find representation (longer novels). I may still self-publish for creative control, but I might not be able to afford to do it for a while because I’m saving for an associate’s degree.
Among self-published works coming out this year, I have PUPPETEER (Thorns 4); OUT OF CURIOSITY AND HUNGER (formerly THE VERY HUNGRY), a short creature feature novel; and DEAD ENDS, a collection of morbid and macabre poetry, most previously published on social media (so I can’t sell most of them), but some have never been posted before.
I’m sick to my stomach from blowing up my life with no guarantees, because I’m not a gambler and I much prefer a sure thing, but I’m going to press on anyway, because that’s just what I have to do and have always done. And I’m going to get some rest, because that’s what I need.
Here’s hoping that writing continues to be fruitful and fulfilling and that 2023 ends up better than it feels right now.
I shared this on Twitter but kept forgetting to put it here. My first paid poem, “An Empyrean Con,” is featured in BLOODLESS from Sliced Up Press, a collection of blood-free horror.
I concluded 2021 with one of the worst work weeks in a bad year and started 2022 with period cramps—like, right after midnight. It’s a good thing I’m not superstitious, otherwise I’d consider it a bad omen. I think most of us agree that 2021 was the last in a trilogy of terrible years that I hope doesn’t have more in its series, but it’s hard to hold out hope these days. I just try to take it a week at a time. Looking too far ahead leads directly to despair, do not pass go, do not collect $200.
However, in spite of the tint of my pessimism glasses, I do have to admit that even a year that tipped toward the bad side of the scale doesn’t necessary have nothing on the good side.
My niece was born at the end of 2020, so we spent 2021 watching her grow. I’m neither maternal nor particularly nurturing, so there aren’t going to be children from my line, but I love that little girl, and getting to see her in person and in pictures and video was the main highlight of my year.
On the writing side, the highlight was publishing the third book in the Thorns series, BLUEBIRDS, although that series is still under most people’s radar. I keep at it in case it crops up later and because I don’t like unfinished things, plus I like this universe. I did my first editing pass of PUPPETEER (T4), cutting the bloated 219K words down to 183K. I’m on the second editing pass now and shooting for under 170K words, if possible, before sending it out to editors and beta readers.
The rest of the writing side was a bit shaky. I tried to write the DRACULA reimagining scheduled in the spring, but I made it about 75K words before I realized it was Not Working. Instead of finishing it and hoping to clean it up later, I wrote myself so deep into Not Working that I had to just stop. When I try again this year, I’m going into it with an outline and an adjusted style for the video epistolary, so we’ll see whether that works.
With the failure of the reimagining attempt, I was a bit at odds with my writing, so I decided to take on a novella—something shorter that wouldn’t hurt as badly if I had to stop. I finished writing creature feature short novel THE VERY HUNGRY at the end of May. I’d originally conceived of it as a short story, so I decided to see if I could recreate that feeling in my head. I came to the conclusion after several starts and stops that some things that play as a movie in one’s head doesn’t always translate to the page, because movies can show rather than tell in such a unique way not available to written narrative. However, after the fourth try, I managed to write a short version, although it’s too long for most anthology calls. I’ll see what I can do with it in the future.
Trying to write the short story version of THE VERY HUNGRY, however, triggered something that I hadn’t planned on for my year. After years of assuming that I wasn’t a short-form writer, I actually ended up writing for a number of short story anthology calls. I do have more stop-restarts than I do for novels, which is frustrating, but at least you don’t lose as much time when you stop-restart after 6K than 75K words. Not counting a few pieces of flash fiction, I wrote 15 stories of 1-15K words. Some of them were too long for the calls and had to be put to the side for now. Of the ones I submitted, some received personalized rejections (which is a good thing), and one of them was accepted! “Resin,” my queer horror-tragedy short story, will be published Feb 2022 in Ghost Orchid Press’ BEYOND THE VEIL.
In addition to short stories this year, I tried my hand at poetry. I’ve always tagged my song lyrics as ‘not a poet,’ because I always felt pretentious as hell writing poetry before, although I’d done a few pieces over the years. I didn’t feel I deserved to call it poetry, much less call myself a poet. But the gothic/horror prompts from Quill & Crow Publishing House inspired me, so about mid-July, I took the plunge. Ever since, I’ve been posting flash poetry daily on my Twitter feed, and I found my voice in it so that I don’t feel pretentious anymore (most of the time). It’s a lot of fun, just trying to create a feeling or image and play and paint with words on a micro scale, and two were published in Quill & Crow’s Volume 3 of CROW CALLS.
Writing both short stories and poetry was a bit like learning a new language, and for a few months after starting each, my brain lit up from all the new imaginative muscles flexing. They’ve since settled, but it was still quite a creative high.
For NaNoWriMo, I planned to take a break from editing PUPPETEER to write a few long short stories or novelettes. I had a list of about three or four I intended to finish during the month. Little did I know that the first one, HOSTILE TERRITORY, would turn into another short novel. So that happened. It needs some work and will probably be a novella by the time it’s trimmed down, and I still have some things I’m not sure about with it. But at least I don’t need to scrap it like the DRACULA reimagining. Just another story to store in the trunk until I can tackle it again.
On a personal level, I didn’t lose any more weight. In fact, I gained a little during the holidays. However, I did get off of my insulin-resistance and cholesterol medications, and the holidays are almost over, so hopefully I’ll be able to get back down to a more manageable level. I’ve come to accept that I am fat and will always be fat at every size, and nothing short of devastating illness or cosmetic surgery is going to change that, so I have to focus on my health rather than my size to avoid disappointment.
I don’t really have personal goals for the year. Like I said, if I try to look much farther than a week, it’s not the greatest feeling. I’ll stick with writing goals, although even that hasn’t been without its frustrations.
In 2022, I’ll finish editing PUPPETEER (T4) and send it out. I hope to self-publish it by the end of the year, although I feel on shakier ground with it than the other four I’ve written. When that’s done, I’ll probably edit short novel THE VERY HUNGRY to prep for submission, although I don’t know where yet. Then I’d like to tackle WILDWORLD (T5), although there are still elements I’m unsure about, so I might need to do some basic outlining to figure it out. After that, I think I’ll block out some months for short story anthology calls and some of the shorts/novelettes on my list. Then I hope to revisit the DRACULA reimagining with a tight outline and see if that helps. For NaNoWriMo 2022, I’d like to start the sequel to UNDEAD ANONYMOUS, which was NaNo 2020’s project, but although I know how it starts, I still don’t know where it’s going, so we’ll see. There’s always something else to work on. My project list doesn’t really get shorter.
Here’s hoping 2022 has more grains of rice on the good side of the scale.