Tag Archives: poem

The endless poison: Friday Update

02 Friday May 2025

Posted by in A Few Thoughts, Novelettes/Novellas, Poetry, Short Stories, Writing

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Photo by Egor Kamelev on Pexels.com

News:

A Coup of Owls announced their 2025 line-up of novelette collections, and my raw, grimy, sexy story “Glory to God,” about a displaced goddess at a gloryhole, comes out in their Halloween 2025 collection featuring Othered horror romance. This is a story I conceived of over fifteen years ago but didn’t have the inspiration or guts to write until I was initially putting together my bathroom horror collection.

My body horror poem “Exhibit” is featured in this issue of Memento Mori’s free newsletter Morsus Vitae.

I did an interview roughly a year ago with the Merry Writers Podcast, and they posted it earlier in April, but I missed it. You can find it at a number of podcast places, but also here on YouTube. I talk a little about Question Not My Salt but mostly about my writing process and my love of the horror genre.

In addition, although “Turning Tail” didn’t win anything last month, my story “The Devil’s Bathtub” is a finalist in this month’s Crystal Lake Shallow Waters flash fiction contest, featuring the theme Fools. It should post for $5/month tiers and above on May 12. This one is a story I’ve wanted to write for a while, loosely based on a place on my grandparent’s land in the Ozarks.

Works in Progress:

I’d hoped that gig working during the afternoons and early evenings and being too tired during the nights would lead to more focused work during my mornings and my Wednesday ‘weekend.’ This has not been the case. I’m sorry, but this administration (federal and state) is soul-sucking, and the anger and helplessness I feel all the time is not conducive to productivity. When logic, reason, and compassion don’t work as arguments, my brain gives a near constant 404 error. It’s not good for me.

I’ve managed to make a dent on the first round of edits on Tooth & Claw (Meridian Book 7), but not as big of a dent as I would have wanted. My plan to finish the first round before doing second-round edits on Masque, however, remains. But I have to remember that Texas Frightmare is this month, and that takes at least three days off my schedule for writing. I want the world to be a better place so I can do my work, damn it.

Concerned that tariffs will eventually lead to less gig work for me as it finally hits inventory or to skintier tips (which we’re heavily dependent on, so remember to tip your gig workers).

Books I’m Reading:

The Fisherman by John Langan
Playlist of the Damned edited by Willow Dawn Becker and Jess Landry
Raising Loki: A Memoir by Elliot Manarin

Things I’m Listening To:

Old Favorite Playlist (basically everything I listened to in college)
Svrcina
It’s No Secret Anymore by Linda Eder
Jekyll & Hyde: Resurrection Soundtrack
Joanne by Lady Gaga
Josh Groban by Josh Groban
Kaleidoscope by Rachael Lampa
The Last Five Years Original Cast Recording

Things I’m Watching:

Mufasa: The Lion King
Talk to Me
Ghosts (US) series
Will Trent series
Watson series
Elsbeth series
NCIS series
CSI: NY series
CSI series
Criminal Minds series
Slasher: Guilty Party series
The Equalizer series
Brooklyn Nine-Nine series
The Bondsman series

What You’ve Done to My Poetry

17 Thursday Apr 2025

Posted by in Poetry

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I almost completely lost my poetry since January, but I finally managed this on why. Photo by icon0 com on Pexels.com

Look what you’ve done to my poetry.
‘All for me and none for thee.’
How could you do this? How can you not see
that what you’re doing is killing me?

My verses wither at the brain-stem vine.
‘All for a price and none that’s thine.’
Replace it with shit and consign
the rest to the orbit of a waiting landmine.

Look what you’ve done to my poetry.
‘It’ll all get better. Just wait and see.’
Do more with less, no more quality or quantity,
sipping the tepid dregs of lead-lined tea.

My words drop and decay where they lie.
‘Iron bars for you and not for I.’
Bellies full of souls scorching the sky
garnish little more than a shrug and a sigh.

Look what you’ve done to my poetry.
‘What use is poetry, or literature, or humanity?’
We’ve decided that our main priority
Won’t be education at all, no college, no university.
Only dull, dreadful, deadened work, only productivity.
But God forbid you show the wrong kind of creativity,
something that doesn’t celebrate venomous positivity,
masculinity, or white supremacy.

Look what you’ve done to my poetry:
A pollen-streaked gravestone without a name,
Dead at thirty-eight, and no rhyme.

All boys, except one, grow up: Friday Update

28 Friday Mar 2025

Posted by in A Few Thoughts, Novels, Poetry, Series, Writing

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News:

A reminder that I’ll be participating in a virtual Horror Talent Showcase tomorrow, March 29, 8-10 PM EST, which you can sign up for here. I’ll be reading “Venus,” a narrative poem from the Verdant with Splinter and Thorn vicious spring section of seasonal horror poetry collection A Nightmare for All Seasons. I’ve done a virtual reading before for Queer Saints II, and it was a lot of fun.

Book & Candle (Meridan Book 5) by my other name is out in ebook.

Some good news on the medical front, but I’ll talk about it more when the labs get back. However, due to medical stuff, I’ll have to wait until next week before I start my venture into the gig economy. I’m excited and nervous in turns.

Works in Progress:

I finished the two short stories and decided to save the third for next month, because I had a lot of real-life things distracting me this last week. However, I also received the first edits for Tattered & Torn (Meridian Book 6) from my publisher, so I’m getting on that. I’m hoping to finish by end of the weekend or Monday. Then I’ll turn around and start my double edits on Tooth & Claw (Meridian Book 7).

During a walk, I thought of a juicy concept for a Meridian Book 8 that makes me excited about trying to write in that world again. It may be something I play with after Masque edits. I think eight books in a series feels more complete than seven, and it’ll address an important recurring theme in the other books.

Books I’m Reading:

The Fisherman by John Langan
Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
Alien Secrets by Annette Curtis Klause (finished)
Playlist of the Damned edited by Willow Dawn Becker and Jess Landry

Things I’m Listening To:

Svrcina
Eurielle
Lily Kershaw

Things I’m Watching:

The Substance
Ma
Twisters
The Twister: Caught in the Storm
Meltdown: Three Mile Island series
Celebrity Jeopardy series
Watson series
Ghosts (US) series
Abbott Elementary series
Elsbeth series
The Hunting Party series
CSI: NY series
CSI series
Criminal Minds series
Spring Baking Championship series
Reacher series
Grey’s Anatomy series
The Equalizer series
S.W.A.T. series
Brooklyn Nine-Nine series

From the pollution: Friday Update

14 Friday Mar 2025

Posted by in A Few Thoughts, Novels, Poetry, Series, Short Stories, Thorns

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Photo by Matt Hardy on Pexels.com

News:

I’ll be reading a narrative poem from the Verdant with Splinter and Thorn section of poetry collection A Nightmare for All Seasons, “Venus,” for the Horror Talent Showcase put on by Mae Murray on March 29, 8-10 PM EST. You can purchase your free ticket for this event here.

Undertaker Books has posted their Table of Contents for the Carnival of Horror anthology coming out April 4. My story “Exile,” a sweet-sour tale about a clown who has grown too big for his circus, is part of this one. I was so happy to come up with a story idea for this sub call, so I’m thrilled to be part of the anthology.

I can’t find an article about it, but I’m tentatively happy that Dusty Deevers’ incredibly broad ‘pornography’ bill looks to have not made it out of committee, per Authors Against Book Banning. There’s still the SCREEN Act in the Senate and a few Texas bills that I have an eye on as far as what’s dangerous and paves the way for book banning/book burning, but that it didn’t get far in Oklahoma is a good thing in a sea of bad.

Works in Progress:

I finished the first round of edits for Tattered & Torn (Meridian Book 6) a few days. As anticipated, I cut a lot of words due to overwriting while trying to figure out where the story would go and how to get from one side of dialogue to the other. I cut 25K words from about 111K to 86K words, which is a substantial chunk.

I’m a little less than halfway through the second round, and it’s definitely moving a lot faster, which speaks to my ability to make really good changes, not just cuts, in the first round. I hope to finish by the end of the weekend—by end of Saturday would be ideal, but I’m on my period, and that makes things less certain.

Once I finish, I’ll send it in to my editor, then try to write a few short things before tackling Tooth & Claw (Meridian Book 7) edits.

Books I’m Reading:

The Fisherman by John Langan
Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
Alien Secrets by Annette Curtis Klause

Things I’m Listening To:

Singer-songwriter playlist

Things I’m Watching:

Twisters
Warlock
Power Rangers (2017)
Thinner
Nosferatu (2024)
CSI: NY series
CSI series
Criminal Minds series
Spring Baking Championship series
Slasher: The Executioner series
Reacher series
Grey’s Anatomy series
The Equalizer series
S.W.A.T. series

Salt the earth, gentlemen: Friday Update

31 Friday Jan 2025

Posted by in A Few Thoughts, Novels, Short Stories

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Photo by Suvan Chowdhury on Pexels.com

I’m sorry, I just can’t.

News:

I won joint 3rd place with “Delirium” at the Crystal Lake Shallow Waters flash fiction contest this month.

I’m trying to get back into playing piano to help with some of my cognitive issues. Anhedonia is a helluva drug, and my sightreading is really rusty, but I’m adjusting.

Works in Progress:

Still working on the Dracula reimagining. I have good days and bad days. I’m about two-thirds of the way through.

Books I’m Reading:

The Fisherman by John Langan
Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier

Things I’m Listening To:

Agnes Obel
Fleurie
Joy Oladokun
Lily Kershaw
Odessa
Patty Griffin
Ruelle

Things I’m Watching:

Angels in the Outfield
Hannibal series
Will Trent series
Celebrity Jeopardy series
Grey’s Anatomy series
The Equalizer series
Found series
The Irrational series
Abbott Elementary series
Home Town series
White Collar series
NCIS series
Columbo series

Poem of the Week:

a great and terrible null,
the vast expanse of shadow
ripping into something darker
than space, a yawning chasm
as fierce as though it has teeth.
gaze into your abyss, false prophets,
for this is the end that you conjured.
is it as righteous as you thought?

Another brick in the wall: Friday Update

17 Friday Jan 2025

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News:

Under my other name, Book & Candle (Meridian Book 5)—a witch forms a conditional alliance with a veteran demon hunter to find her friend, who was taken by succubi—is available for preorder. This one involves contractual obligations, itching spells, and older characters, though still a significant age gap. It was great fun to write a powerful character in an unusually vulnerable position, and I hope it’s just as enjoyable to read.

My horror poem “Dunce,” about a child forgotten in a corner, is available to read for free in Memento Mori Magazine‘s free newsletter, Morsus Vitae, here.

Had a doctor’s check-up and had a long talk (which I greatly appreciated) to determine where I go from here this year on my health journey. I don’t anticipate the blood tests will show much improvement in my problem areas, unfortunately, but at least I have a path to take for some of my other issues that I can’t afford to push off much longer, even if I hope they’re not something too bad. Based on prior experience, I’m probably fine (in the sense that my issues won’t harm me, even if they’re not the most fun things in the world), but your body’s warranty runs out at thirty-five, so I can’t lean on that assumption anymore.

Whether or not I’m successful at finishing up the DRI and Masque edits before the end of the month, I’ll be signing up to work for Instacart. The gig economy is not ideal, of course, but I need money flowing in instead of out (not least to cover medical costs), and I actually like grocery shopping, so it may be a good fit. I’ll be easing into it in February, figuring out my best schedule and hopefully not venturing too far from home.

Works in Progress:

I was supposed to start editing the Dracula reimagining, but I’m having a hard time focusing. I’ll be trying again today and shooting for finishing in a week and a half or less. Honestly, though, I’m not sure what the inauguration is going to do to me.

However, I did manage to write two pieces of flash, both of which got sent out to their respective submission calls in good shape, so it was still a productive week.

Books I’m Reading:

The Fisherman by John Langan
Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
Sister, Maiden, Monster by Lucy A. Snyder

Things I’m Listening To:

Christmas playlist
Dracula soundtracks

Things I’m Watching:

101 Dalmatians (1996)
102 Dalmatians
Grotesquerie series (finished)
Celebrity Jeopardy series
Grey’s Anatomy series
The Equalizer series
Found series
The Irrational series
Abbott Elementary series
Home Town series
White Collar series
NCIS series
CSI series
CSI: NY series
Columbo series
Broadchurch series

Poem of the Week:

there aren’t as many stars
anymore i have to squint
to see more than haze
or shadow on the moon
maybe it’s how much i drink
or the long long days
maybe i’m just tired
or maybe the sun wants to sleep
come inside my darling
the light is getting dim

Snowed in: Friday Update

10 Friday Jan 2025

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Oh yeah, it’s Friday. Sorry, been snowed in since yesterday, so time has no meaning. And this is Texas, so snowed in pretty much means that there is snow or ice and it’s sticking, so Amanda doesn’t go outside in it. Amanda doesn’t do wet cold.

News:

I’m back in the Shallow Waters contest at the Crystal Lake Patreon ($5/month tiers and up). This month’s theme is Liminal Spaces, and my story, “Delirium,” comes out around January 29, the second to the last in a group of 20 pieces of flash fiction. Join us if you like bite-sized themed horror fiction.

Preorders for WriteHive’s cozy speculative anthology Rescuing Curiosity are open now, coming out March 6. My story, “Marginalia,” is part of this one. I rarely write cozy or stories set in the future, so this was out of my comfort zone twice.

Works in Progress:

I finished the first edit/rewrite round of Masque two days ago, taking the story from 110,972 words (including about 4K words of notes and outline) to 97,811 words, which is a perfectly respectable number. So that’s the first rounds of the Dracula reimagining and Masque done and dusted. I’m taking a few days off to do a few smaller things before diving back in. The submission call I anticipated isn’t open, so I’m not in a hurry to meet a hard deadline by end of the month.

The last two days, I’ve been furiously working on getting A Nightmare for All Seasons for publication, including purchasing an affordable cover, reading the poems out loud to make sure they’re right, writing the introduction and the back cover copy, creating graphics for the main title page and section title pages (which I’ve never done before, and I’m really proud of myself for doing through Canva for free, even though they’re basic; it takes the book to the next level and emphasizes that these are five discrete sections), and meticulously formatting the uploaded document in Atticus (which had already paid for itself before this). Atticus is set up for prose, not poetry, so it’s fiddly, but I’m really happy with the end result.

I’m waiting on getting the cover back, and I have to also wait on some outstanding poems on sub, because I didn’t know I was going to include Lullabies for an Apocalypse in the collection when I sent those poems out. At this point, I’m hoping I can self-publish this sometime in February if I receive rejections. Longer, though, if something’s accepted and I have to account for exclusive rights. Yes, if someone’s willing to pay me for poetry, damn right I’m delaying for a pet project few people are going to read. Either way, it’ll be ready. I should set it up in the Poetry/Short Story page tomorrow.

Through the weekend, I think I’ll work on a few flash fiction pieces on the docket. Then I should be able to start on second-round edits for the Dracula reimagining.

Books I’m Reading:

The Fisherman by John Langan
Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
Sister, Maiden, Monster by Lucy A. Snyder

Things I’m Listening To:

Christmas playlist (finally got through the whole collection, which is a lot, and now I’ve got it on random until I start working on the Dracula reimagining again)

Things I’m Watching:

Miracle on 34th Street (1947)
A Charlie Brown Christmas
Jumanji
I Saw the TV Glow
The Holiday
Barbie
Murder, She Wrote: The Celtic Riddle
Wishmaster 3: Beyond the Gates of Hell
Glass Onion
Wishmaster 4: The Prophecy Fulfilled
Prince of Darkness
Brilliant Minds series
Found series
The Irrational series
Abbott Elementary series
Home Town series
Longmire series (finished)
Great British Baking Show: Holiday Edition series (finished)
Monk series (Season 6 finished for New Year’s binge watch)
Columbo series
CSI: NY series
S.W.A.T. series

Poem of the Week:

take care not to offend
your friendly neighborhood
coven of witches
lest your foolishness
burst from you like stuffing
and leave you in stitches

The Trial

28 Saturday Dec 2024

Posted by in Poetry

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Photo by Renato Mu on Pexels.com

(Here’s a poetry gift for you at the end of 2024.)

You stand before God.
You stand before man.
And we ask you
to make us understand
how a sweet little girl
could derail the divine plan
with a smile, as only
a good little girl can.

You put me on trial
for such slight indiscretion.
Have a little fun,
They call it demonic possession,
set a trial, and demand
an instant confession.
Snuff it out,
a good girl’s unseemly aggression,
at least until good girl
has learned her sweet lesson.

Pinafore days
and petticoat nights,
you skipped and you sang,
a good child’s delights.
When darkness falls
a good child sleeps tight,
succumbs not to the shadows.
There’s something not right.

You act as though
you’ve never squinted before
against light breaking through
that you cannot ignore.
But there’s more in
bad light for good men to deplore,
and there’s more than
bad faith for a child to explore.
I don’t want to be blinded
by your light anymore.

We have doctors for you,
and family and priests.
The healing must begin.
Grant us that much at least.
There’s teaching to be done,
prayers never ceased.
Would you serve angels
or the wilder Beast?

Show me the wild,
and I’ll show you a heart.
I’ll fight tooth and nail,
tear my sweet life apart.
I know I’m too cruel,
and I know I’m too smart.
A blood smear’s a painting,
and good dying’s an art.
Afterlife’s for the dead.
Let me live, for a start.

They held me back.
I had no other choice.
If they could, they would have
stolen my eyes and my voice,
dressed me up in doll clothes
like a toddler’s toys—
no escape, not a whisper,
not the slightest little noise,
hobbled feet and bound hands.
Would you do that to boys?

Say I’m a beast. Shut me down.
Call me to grave submission.
But I offer you now
this bad girl’s admonition:
If I plead my fair guilt
of my own bald admission,
I’ll show none of your
recommended contrition
but condemn you in your
own hysterical condition.

Two braids and a curl
do not need your branded permission.
Shut your mouth, bend your knees
to this pinafore perdition.

For a woman never forgets,
and a girl is never forgiven.

In anticipation: Friday Update

20 Friday Dec 2024

Posted by in A Few Thoughts, Novels, Poetry, Writing

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SONY DSC

News:

My dark poem “Keeping Secrets” was included in the Breath and Shadow Fall 2024 issue. It’s free to read here. My inspiration for it was the fact that I’m pretty good at not telling secrets, but I absolutely cannot promise that I won’t tell under the most mild of interrogations. My secret integrity completely depends on the fact that people don’t ask me about them in the first place.

Undertaker Books announced their Table of Contents for Stories to Take to the Grave: High Seas Edition, and my story “Floaters” (referencing corpses) is included in the line-up. It’s quieter horror than I usually do, and with a little hope thrown in there. It’s one of my stories I submitted far and wide to a variety of publishers, but it kept getting rejected, and I really wanted a good home for it.

Works in Progress:

Since it includes some rewriting, the first-round edit of Masque is going more slowly than I would like. I’m sorry, crisis after crisis and anticipation of collapse is not conducive to creativity. Nevertheless, I’ve started, and honestly, it wasn’t as info-dumping as I thought it would be. Or maybe adding a character that needed context helped give the world-building info reason to exist.

But I’m not having trouble concentrating because I don’t enjoy it. When I’m working on it, I love Masque‘s lushness. The difference between the much sparer found-media transcription style of the Dracula reimagining and the Gothic embellishments in Masque is pretty stark. I like both.

By and large, my shorter creature features, Deep Down and Out of Curiosity and Hunger are both spare as well, Deep Down because of the protagonist’s numbed emotional state and in Out of Curiosity and Hunger because of both the protagonist’s detachment and sort of wanting to write found-footage style without actually doing so—very documentarian. Whereas my first book, Nocturne, and novella The Damp definitely leaned into the Gothic style as well. I think doing both allows me to enjoy them better, because I’m never locked into one way of writing and it keeps me interested.

I can also write somewhere in between. I would argue that, though the Thorns series books are long, they’re quite traditional in style, and so is Question Not My Salt. Drift and A Woman Alone are dreamy outliers, but probably fit in here, too, although I would argue they’re actually Gothic in elements rather than writing style.

I’m very much a believer of ‘form follows function.’ Sometimes you need a modular cottage and sometimes you need a big honking castle. One is not more intrinsically correct. I think I’ve once shared on here, though, that a more elaborate Gothic style of writing more closely resembles how my brain actually thinks. The denser, sparer writing, on the other hand, gives my head a bit of a rest.

Christmas to New Year’s is a weird time, even as a freelancer, so I’m not sure how much I’ll actually get done, but I’m still aiming to get Masque and the Dracula reimagining completed by end of January. At the very least, I’d like to get Masque done if the call I’m finishing it for is, in fact, open in January. If they’re open to novellas, I can submit The Damp if I don’t finish, though. The Dracula reimagining doesn’t really need to be finished. I’m just hoping to start subbing it out to agents as soon as possible. I’m also perfectly open to self-publishing it. I have two covers in my already-purchased folder that could fit the story.

Books I’m Reading:

The Fisherman by John Langan
Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
Sister, Maiden, Monster by Lucy A. Snyder

Things I’m Listening To:

Christmas playlist

Things I’m Watching:

Die Hard (My verdict? I don’t understand how this isn’t a Christmas movie. Loved it.)
Krampus
Christmas Inheritance
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
Black Christmas (2006)
P2
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Holiday in the Wild
The Case of the Whitechapel Vampire (Sherlock Holmes)
The Christmas Cookie Showdown series
Holiday Baking Championship series (finished)
Holiday Wars series
The Great British Baking Show series (finished)
Elsbeth series
Matlock series
Ghosts (US) series
NCIS series
Longmire series
Columbo series
S.W.A.T. series