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Amanda M. Blake

~ Of fairy tales and tentacles

Amanda M. Blake

Tag Archives: end of year

Resolute (8)

01 Thursday Jan 2026

Posted by amandamblake in A Few Thoughts, Novelettes/Novellas, Novels, Poetry, Series, Short Stories, Uncategorized, Writing

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end of year, health, new year, resolute, Writing

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I started this year in a deep depression due to the election results, anticipating a lot of things that were going to go wrong and how bad it was going to become. In a lot of ways, it ended up just as bad as expected, in a lot of ways worse, and in some ways better.

I’m discouraged by the swift right lean of legacy media (after a slow creep for the last twenty-five years), but encouraged by most of the legal outcomes, slow though they are. I’m discouraged by a Congress barely willing to hold on to its own power, a government swollen with corruption and amputated of any ounce of self-interested integrity, an anti-immigration force that should be goose-stepping, and one of the worst presidents in our history who is barely even steering the steamboat anymore (that’s run by even worse people now). I’m encouraged by all the little efforts to counteract this descent into incompetence and fascism. We’ve been lean authoritarian for a long time, but Trump started a march into strong authoritarianism in his first term, then ran headlong this term into its wall, but also into Americans who generally don’t like being told so brazenly what to do and who bristle at corruption, especially as obvious as it is now.

2025 was a swollen, Lyme-disease-ridden tick. I’m just waiting for someone to burst the body and pull the head out with tweezers.

It took several months in the beginning of 2025 before I was able to engage in any kind of writing exercise. I had plenty of edits to work on, but I was finally able to write in March to complete Tooth & Claw (Meridian Book 7), under my other name, after several false starts. It was edited, submitted, and ultimately published after Book & Candle (M5) and Tattered & Torn (M6). I recently finished writing the last book in the Meridian series, Never & Forever (M8), which should be published this year.

I have a standing goal of 24 short stories/articles written every year, but I only managed 12 short stories this year, mostly for the Shallow Waters flash fiction contests, although I wrote a few longer pieces while I house-sat for some friends and got to know their two cats very well. I’ve been catless for some years now, so going through the process of acquainting myself with cats again was a balm during a rough time. Dealing with this world, plus worrying about an upcoming colonoscopy/endoscopy in the following month… The beginning of 2025 was awful. The screening didn’t indicate anything wrong, though, so that was a huge relief.

I also received some amazing news twice this year after submitting a number of novels and novellas. In the Dollhouse We All Wait was acquired by Crystal Lake’s extreme imprint Torrid Waters, who also published my short novel Question Not My Salt (which has hit over a hundred ratings on Goodreads…unthinkable). It’s slated to be released April 2026. I’ve already done the major round of edits, and now I’m just waiting for the proofread. I’ve also gotten a look at the sketches for the cover and scene breaks. It’s going to be awesome.

In addition to that, my alt-history novel Masque (is it horror? is it fantasy? is it noir? is it gothic? a little bit of everything and nothing?) was acquired by Quill & Crow Publishing, which has been a goal for me for several years now. It’s slated to be released around July 2027, which means the edits are scheduled for the same time this year. This will be my first mainstream novel published by someone other than me. I get to promote it without warning people about the content! Shocking, I know.

I prepped my seasonal horror poetry collection A Nightmare for All Seasons and my short supernatural novella May Cooler Heads Prevail for publication. But I decided to have MCHP looked at by one of my indie editors first, and I still have to edit based on that. My cover artist is also recovering from a lot, so although I’m hoping to self-publish it this month, we’ll have to play it by ear a bit. And I had to wait for the last of the submitted pieces for Nightmare to be passed on before I could publish. By the time that happened, I needed to focus on writing Never & Forever, so I delayed that self-publication, too. I’m aiming for a spring release in March.

I had a number of smaller pieces published, though. My total writing income is still only in the high three figures, but with fewer markets and simply writing fewer things, that’s not surprising. If anything, I’m surprised I managed that much.

Poetry:

“Dunce,” Memento Mori Ink: Morsus Vitae, Issue 2, January 15, 2025 (free to read)
“Exhibit,” Memento Mori Ink: Morsus Vitae, Issue 5, April 28, 2025 (free to read)
“Sacrificial,” The Cleansing Power of Fire, Infested Publishing, June 21, 2025
“Sins of the Asylum,” Gathered Here Today: An Open Casket of Art and Poetry, Graveside Press, July 19, 2025

Short stories/Novelettes:

“Delirium,” Shallow Waters Flash Fiction 3rd place winner, Crystal Lake Entertainment, January 26, 2025
“Weed Killer,” Horrific Scribblings, Horrific Scribes, February 25, 2025 (free to read)
“Marginalia,” Rescuing Curiosity: A WriteHive Anthology, Inked in Gray Press, March 4, 2025
“Exile,” Carnival of Horror, Undertaker Books, April 4, 2025
“Turning Tail,” Shallow Waters Flash Fiction finalist, Crystal Lake Entertainment, April 18, 2025
“The Devil’s Bathtub,” Shallow Waters Flash Fiction 1st place winner, Crystal Lake Entertainment, May 11, 2025
“Floaters,” Undertaker Books, June 3, 2025 (free to read)
“Origami,” Shallow Water Flash Fiction finalist, Crystal Lake Entertainment, June 15, 2025
“From Black Clouds,” Kosmos Obscura, Graveside Press, June 27, 2025
“Growing Things,” Shallow Water Flash Fiction 1st place winner, Crystal Lake Entertainment, August 10, 2025
“Infiltration,” Out There, Sans. Press, September 7, 2025
“Eviratum,” Shallow Water Flash Fiction finalist, Crystal Lake Entertainment, September 13, 2025
“Wandering Lights,” Shallow Waters Flash Fiction finalist, Crystal Lake Entertainment, October 7, 2025 (reprint)
“Glory to God,” Dark Paths: A Queer Horror Romance Collection, A Coup of Owls Press, October 31, 2025 (novelette)
“Come In From the Cold,” Cemetery Songs Vol. 1, Eldritch Cat Press, October 31, 2025
“Chrysalis in Chrysanthemum,” Gavagai, November 5, 2025 (free to read)
“Zombie Lesbian Bed Death,” Necro-Sapiens, Savage Realms Press, November 10, 2025
“A Swirling Light,” Shallow Waters Flash Fiction finalist, Crystal Lake Entertainment, November 13, 2025
“Weed Killer,” Horrific Scribes Presents: Invasions of World, Home, Body, and Mind, Horrific Scribblings, December 16, 2025 (reprint)

On the personal side, I have had no luck with my weight, but my health numbers are on the edge of apocalyptic and my right knee is protesting. I really think I need to buckle down and try to push beyond my comfort zone to bring my weight down, for my own sake. It doesn’t improve things much aesthetically, but I think it’ll make me feel better in general. It’s going to take a combination of food adjustments and working out more, both of which will be difficult. My later working hours means that I’m often eating dinner and decompressing at 10 or 11 PM, which makes setting aside a lot of time for working out at night harder. I started on a supplement that was supposed to regulate my hormones into helping with my insulin resistance, but I’m not sure how much that’s working. It is, however, clearing up my hormonal acne quite a bit, though.

I also was unable to procure an office job, something with regular hours and benefits. I have health care through the Marketplace (and it didn’t go up too, too much after the subsidies expired, which I know makes me lucky) and I started working through Instacart. I love some things about it and hate other things, but I’m good at it, and it’s allowing me to subsist until I can pull myself together. I don’t think I can pull myself together until this country pulls itself together. I just don’t have the stability to be stable. But I’ve developed something of a routine, unconventional though it is, and although I started out working six days a week, I’ve adjusted it down to five, although that usually means working a little longer on the working days. Now that I’m writing more regularly, I appreciate the extra day off.

In the coming year, I have a good number of things coming out, as detailed earlier in this post: May Cooler Heads Prevail (novella, Jan/Feb 2026), A Nightmare for All Seasons (poetry collection, March 2026), In the Dollhouse We All Wait (novel, April 2026), and Never & Forever (M8, novel, TBA).

I’m playing with possibly putting out Hear You Scream, a short collection of horror short stories and a novelette, for Halloween. I’m still wondering whether I should self-publish the Dracula reimagining or find a traditional publishing home for it. But although I put aside a little of my paycheck every week, it’s still wicked expensive to get pieces edited, so these things will mostly be determined by whether I can afford it.

I also really want to get into writing some creative non-fiction/articles that have been knocking around my head for a while. They’re on my list this year.

The rest of my writing/editing schedule this year:
-Complete fix of Dracula reimagining
-Final edit of May Cooler Heads Prevail
-Edit and submit Never & Forever (M8)
-Rewrite We Follow You in the Dark
-Write The Twelfth Wife
-Q&C edit of Masque

This is actually quite a spare schedule. I may add writing Hearts & Heads (Thorns 6) onto the list or tackle some of my shorter pieces that have been waiting. I may finally do that rewrite of War House that I keep putting on my list and never doing.

But although I’m tackling The Twelfth Wife, which I expect will be quite epic in scope and has been one of my bucket list stories that I wasn’t ready to write until recently, I want to seriously pull back on how hard I’ve been working on the writing front for over two decades. Under my Aurelia T. Evans name, I’ve completed two trilogies and two series. Under this name, I’m halfway through the Thorns series, which is its own kind of epic. I’ve written a slew of short novels and novellas, some published and some not. I need to finish the Thorns series. I need to write the rest of the UA duology or trilogy. I have pieces I haven’t even touched yet. I’m not lacking for work or ideas. Ideas are rarely the problem. The problem is always and everywhere Time. And Time is Money. The previous two years, I went through a lot of Money to have enough Time to write a lot again, but now I’m working for Money and have less Time.

I’m not in my twenties anymore. I need to take care of my body. I need more sleep. I can’t do all-nighters. I’m turning forty this year, and I’d like to figure out how to mark this milestone, especially given I have trouble seeing myself after forty, and that’s created a bit of superstition on my part.

I’m still going to be writing. I don’t know how to not write. I’m just going to…slow down. Take my time on things rather than rush to a finish line. Work on patience. Read more (I miss reading and I have so many wonderful books to read or reread). Try more art, like crochet and drawing and cross-stitch. Play more piano. I got into it earlier this year, but it fell back when I started working.

2025 needs to be taken out and summarily shot, but everything in 2026 is going to remain agonizing for a while, too. Rest and rejuvenation are going to be an important part of enduring this. And I’m still going to accomplish some pretty amazing things. Between Masque, the Dracula reimagining, and The Twelfth Wife, it’s like I’ve finally reached the point in my writing career that my experience finally meets my ambition. If I can write The Twelfth Wife, I might just burst.

I’m going to skip tomorrow’s blog post, so I’ll see you again next Friday. Take care of yourself, and have a low-key happy New Year’s Day. Me and my family will be eating junk and watching Monk Season 7. Cheers!

Resolute (7)

31 Tuesday Dec 2024

Posted by amandamblake in A Few Thoughts, Novelettes/Novellas, Novels, Poetry, Series, Short Stories, Thorns, Writing

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

editing, end of year, health, new year, resolute, weight, Writing

Photo by freestocks.org on Pexels.com

I think I’ve figured out that I just don’t like birthdays and the end of the year for the same reason. I don’t like looking back and feeling like I’m not where I want to be, nor do I like looking forward and not seeing much better there either. Although I have reverse SAD rather than regular SAD, I am a little affected by the extra darkness, especially when we’ve had gloomy weather, too. Maybe less light makes me less optimistic in general. Of course, there are other reasons why I feel like I’m holding my breath when I look ahead. Not going to go into it. I’m doing my best to cope, although my best still isn’t great.

(CW for this paragraph: Weight issues) I feel like, although I’ve been able to get back into movement and exercise, which is good, I’m in a losing war with my weight. I had to do insane amounts of high-resistance elliptical to even make a dent before, but prior to the leg injury in 2023, weight was already starting to creep back up. Since college, I’ve gained and lost significant amounts of weight four times, and this most recent weight gain is fifth. My brain is tired of self-denial and categorically refuses to give up certain things when it’s already given up so much; plus, FOMO when I worry that certain things aren’t going to be available to the same degree in the future. And I am tired of being at constant odds with my body. Before the injury, I feel like my body and I had reached a kind of detente, because I could say that at least I was strong and my blood tests said I was healthy. Detente ended around this time last year when I had gained back all the weight from not being able to exercise. It’s been a long struggle, frustrating because you can never just go back to the way you were eating before. You always have to give up more and more and more, and the goalposts of what you can achieve always move.

However, this time last year, I was still injured and healing, still limping, still in pain. Today, I’m walking mostly normal, if a little chaotically when I’m stiff. Still a slight limp sometimes, but no more pain. The main injury has (perhaps irreparably) weakened the leg, though, so I can’t up the resistance on the elliptical without causing strain in the compensating muscles. Even so, walking without pain and able to do cardio and play a full-movement game like pickle ball (which I started with neighbors this year) are all improvements.

My writing sabbatical was only supposed to last one year, but inability to find a new job made it last another. Election Day took some serious wind out of my ability to write, so I had to scrap a few end-of-year plans, and the stress of not finding a job at the beginning of the year surely contributed to my issues with writing what eventually became Tooth & Claw (Meridian Book 7). Naive little me really thought that, because I knew I was capable, I would be able to find a job in a few months, and it’s tremendously humbling and somewhat humiliating to not be able to. In the new year, I’ll probably have to join the gig economy, but I really need money flowing in, and after twenty years in the writing business, it’s still really not coming from that quarter.

In 2024, I made a little more than half what I made writing in 2023. It was a three-figure year. Some of that isn’t on me. The indie horror scene contracted significantly, thanks to billionaires behaving badly: Amazon removed its zine subscription service, which killed all but the biggest zines that were able to cobble together subscriptions in other ways; Musk bought and tanked Twitter; and gen AI overwhelmed submission calls (and their slush readers) with unsolicited slop. (I imagine the banning of TikTok will also have a significant market effect, because BookTok was a big viral push for word-of-mouth marketing, but I don’t hang out there personally.) There were also generally fewer calls from shuttering indie presses. Too many hungry writers (layoffs and post-lockdown changes likely played a role), and not enough well-paid opportunities. Like the job market in general. The indie horror boom is probably over, for now.

Some of it was on me, though, because I focused on writing long-form this year rather than producing new short-form stories, including writing for specific calls. Variety is good for me, so that wasn’t really my fault so much as a consequence of my 2024 plan. However, I did publish the following short stories:

“Hell Come Home,” Shallow Waters Flash Fiction 2nd place winner, Crystal Lake Entertainment, February 9, 2024
“Full,” Shallow Waters Flash Fiction 2nd place winner, Crystal Lake Entertainment, March 19, 2024
“Indigestion,” The Last Girls Club Spring Equinox 2024 issue, March 21, 2024
“Graphite,” The Pleasure in Pain: A Queer Horrotica Anthology, Dragon’s Roost Press, March 31, 2024
“Eye Spy,” Shallow Waters Flash Fiction finalist, Crystal Lake Entertainment, April 13, 2024
“The Glitter of Bile,” Cosmic Horror Monthly Issue 47, May 1, 2024
“Second Chance,” Shallow Waters Flash Fiction finalist, Crystal Lake Entertainment, May 12, 2024
“Snot,” Shallow Waters Flash Fiction 3rd place winner, Crystal Lake Entertainment, July 22, 2024 (as “Sea Snot”)
“Predatory,” Shallow Waters Flash Fiction finalist, Crystal Lake Entertainment, August 22, 2024
“Nuisance Notifications,” Found 2: More Stories of Found Footage Horror, edited by Gabino Iglesias and Andrew Cull, October 25, 2024
“Six,” Screams, edited by Judith Sonnet, December 1, 2024
“Hell Come Home,” Hotel Macabre, Vol. 1, Crystal Lake Entertainment, December 13, 2024

I would say that “Hell Come Home” is probably my best received short story this year, although “Graphite” and “Six” also got some attention.

I also sold some great poetry this year:

“Cleanse,” Querencia Press Winter 2024 issue, January 31, 2024
“All of Us Witches,” Small Wonders Magazine Issue 12, June 19, 2024
“Vernal,” Renascentum: Crow Calls Volume VI, July 15, 2024
“Keeping Secrets,” Breath & Shadow Volume 21, Issue 2, December 13, 2024

“All of Us Witches” is probably the best received, and I was really happy that it found a place. For the volume submitted, poetry is probably the hardest to sell.

In addition, the following novels came out in 2024:

Strange & Familiar, Meridian Book 3, Totally Bound Publishing, January 16, 2024 (as Aurelia T. Evans)
Question Not My Salt, Crystal Lake Entertainment, February 16, 2024
Crooked House, Thorns Book 5, self-published, September 7, 2024
Avarice & Creed, Meridian Book 4, Totally Bound Publishing, October 1, 2024 (as Aurelia T. Evans)

Question Not My Salt was my first traditionally published novel under this name, and it’s been more reviewed than anything else I’ve done. Despite the fact that it’s extreme horror (mild for extreme, but extreme for regular horror), it’s also been mostly well reviewed; it seems like people have had gross fun with it.

Crooked House was the soft ending for Thorns, in that, if I died without putting out another book, the series would end with a satisfying resolution. Thorns has been an amazing series for me, allows me to go to the dark places and do the kinds of stories I’ve always wanted to do, and to play around within the fairy tale sandbox. I had planned to resume the Thorns series in 2025, but that will depend on my ability to, you know, write. Even so, I’m looking forward to the Thorns still to come.

Strange & Familiar and Avarice & Creed brought my gothic urban fantasy series Meridian to its halfway point. There’s something about my green-colored books under my Aurelia T. Evans name. Avarice & Creed, Skeletons, Cry Wolf… They’re kind of my low-key favorites, although my red-colored books (Fortune, Ringmaster, Strange & Familiar) are more obviously so.

I’m not going to do an analysis of my short-form acceptance rate this year, because when I checked in July, acceptance rate was about 1-2%, compared to 7-8% in 2023, and it didn’t really improve through the rest of the year. You can hope for improvement, but you can’t really set goals to be published more, because you actually have no control on the traditional publication side of things, only in what you finish. But like I said earlier, I also mostly worked on long-form, which is often a lot of work for less likely reward, and the whole process from creation to publication (if it even happens) takes such a long time—the very definition of working on spec.

This year, I wrote 14 short stories, and of course, I wrote a ton of poetry until November, when I had no more poetry left in me, and that still hasn’t come back. I may return to flash poetry in January 2025 to test those waters.

I also finished the following long-form stories/collections:

Tooth & Claw, Meridian Book 7, erotic gothic urban fantasy novel (possibly end of series)
May Cooler Heads Prevail, supernatural novella
A Nightmare for All Seasons, seasonal horror poetry collection
Masque, gothic alt-history novel
The Damp, gothic horror novella
The Dracula reimagining, found-footage/modern epistolary horror novel

(I’m not being coy by not sharing the DRI title. It’s just a bit spoilery about the concept, so I don’t want to share it until it’s going to be published, traditionally or on my own.)

Writing Masque and the Dracula reimagining were serious bucket-list novels, things I had played with the idea of for over a decade, so the fact I wrote them because I was finally ready, and I like what came out, is really an achievement. I really wanted to write one more long thing this year, like I said, but that ended up a bust. I edited a good number of my long-form pieces, though. Some of them are on sub; some are waiting for the right call.

For now, I have plenty of things to edit before I absolutely need to attempt writing something new in 2025. In January, my primary goal is to finish the edits of Masque and the Dracula reimagining. As soon as that’s done, I’ll self-publish my seasonal horror poetry collection, A Nightmare for All Seasons, to which I’m adding a new season: the last, with my short collection Lullabies for an Apocalypse. Then I’ll edit Tattered & Torn (Meridian Book 6) and probably fix and proof May Cooler Heads Prevail for self-publishing.

At that point, I have a number of things I can do, depending on ability and finances. There’s more edits, there’s short-form writing, there’s shorter long-form, and there are any number of sequels to tackle (for Thorns, UA, possibly Meridian), not to mention the rewrite of War House that I keep putting off. I have a general schedule set, but it’s flexible, as always. I could also do other creative endeavors, like drawing, piano, or cross-stitch.

All of this presuming that things don’t blow up as much as I’m worried they will. I’m bracing for impact; just because I can’t sustain paralyzing fear indefinitely doesn’t mean the fear isn’t there, and bad. Hope is certainly in short supply.

Changing the Rhythm

27 Wednesday Dec 2017

Posted by amandamblake in A Few Thoughts, Writing

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Tags

end of year, question, Writing

1159420_96550296One of the biggest things I changed about my writing this year that made a huge difference was bringing my personal computer to work with me.

After I sign out from work, I take my computer to the break room and set it up on one of the high tables like a standing desk. I don’t plug in or connect to the wifi, so I’m not using any of their resources, just the empty space that isn’t otherwise being used. And without being able to get on the Internet or make a snack or do any of the other myriad things I distract myself with everywhere else, I literally can’t do anything else but write.

That gives me a good, dependable 700-1000 words in less than an hour before I endure traffic home (traffic is a over-stimulation issue for me—and many others, I’m sure) and start the long wind-down from the day. I also try to write another 700-1000 words at night, but my brain’s shutting down at that point, so it’s more difficult to focus. Plus, I have wifi at home, and other things I want to do, like watch mindless procedurals.

What did you change this year that made a difference in your writing?

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