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Resolute (8)

01 Thursday Jan 2026

Posted by in A Few Thoughts, Novelettes/Novellas, Novels, Poetry, Series, Short Stories, Uncategorized, Writing

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I started this year in a deep depression due to the election results, anticipating a lot of things that were going to go wrong and how bad it was going to become. In a lot of ways, it ended up just as bad as expected, in a lot of ways worse, and in some ways better.

I’m discouraged by the swift right lean of legacy media (after a slow creep for the last twenty-five years), but encouraged by most of the legal outcomes, slow though they are. I’m discouraged by a Congress barely willing to hold on to its own power, a government swollen with corruption and amputated of any ounce of self-interested integrity, an anti-immigration force that should be goose-stepping, and one of the worst presidents in our history who is barely even steering the steamboat anymore (that’s run by even worse people now). I’m encouraged by all the little efforts to counteract this descent into incompetence and fascism. We’ve been lean authoritarian for a long time, but Trump started a march into strong authoritarianism in his first term, then ran headlong this term into its wall, but also into Americans who generally don’t like being told so brazenly what to do and who bristle at corruption, especially as obvious as it is now.

2025 was a swollen, Lyme-disease-ridden tick. I’m just waiting for someone to burst the body and pull the head out with tweezers.

It took several months in the beginning of 2025 before I was able to engage in any kind of writing exercise. I had plenty of edits to work on, but I was finally able to write in March to complete Tooth & Claw (Meridian Book 7), under my other name, after several false starts. It was edited, submitted, and ultimately published after Book & Candle (M5) and Tattered & Torn (M6). I recently finished writing the last book in the Meridian series, Never & Forever (M8), which should be published this year.

I have a standing goal of 24 short stories/articles written every year, but I only managed 12 short stories this year, mostly for the Shallow Waters flash fiction contests, although I wrote a few longer pieces while I house-sat for some friends and got to know their two cats very well. I’ve been catless for some years now, so going through the process of acquainting myself with cats again was a balm during a rough time. Dealing with this world, plus worrying about an upcoming colonoscopy/endoscopy in the following month… The beginning of 2025 was awful. The screening didn’t indicate anything wrong, though, so that was a huge relief.

I also received some amazing news twice this year after submitting a number of novels and novellas. In the Dollhouse We All Wait was acquired by Crystal Lake’s extreme imprint Torrid Waters, who also published my short novel Question Not My Salt (which has hit over a hundred ratings on Goodreads…unthinkable). It’s slated to be released April 2026. I’ve already done the major round of edits, and now I’m just waiting for the proofread. I’ve also gotten a look at the sketches for the cover and scene breaks. It’s going to be awesome.

In addition to that, my alt-history novel Masque (is it horror? is it fantasy? is it noir? is it gothic? a little bit of everything and nothing?) was acquired by Quill & Crow Publishing, which has been a goal for me for several years now. It’s slated to be released around July 2027, which means the edits are scheduled for the same time this year. This will be my first mainstream novel published by someone other than me. I get to promote it without warning people about the content! Shocking, I know.

I prepped my seasonal horror poetry collection A Nightmare for All Seasons and my short supernatural novella May Cooler Heads Prevail for publication. But I decided to have MCHP looked at by one of my indie editors first, and I still have to edit based on that. My cover artist is also recovering from a lot, so although I’m hoping to self-publish it this month, we’ll have to play it by ear a bit. And I had to wait for the last of the submitted pieces for Nightmare to be passed on before I could publish. By the time that happened, I needed to focus on writing Never & Forever, so I delayed that self-publication, too. I’m aiming for a spring release in March.

I had a number of smaller pieces published, though. My total writing income is still only in the high three figures, but with fewer markets and simply writing fewer things, that’s not surprising. If anything, I’m surprised I managed that much.

Poetry:

“Dunce,” Memento Mori Ink: Morsus Vitae, Issue 2, January 15, 2025 (free to read)
“Exhibit,” Memento Mori Ink: Morsus Vitae, Issue 5, April 28, 2025 (free to read)
“Sacrificial,” The Cleansing Power of Fire, Infested Publishing, June 21, 2025
“Sins of the Asylum,” Gathered Here Today: An Open Casket of Art and Poetry, Graveside Press, July 19, 2025

Short stories/Novelettes:

“Delirium,” Shallow Waters Flash Fiction 3rd place winner, Crystal Lake Entertainment, January 26, 2025
“Weed Killer,” Horrific Scribblings, Horrific Scribes, February 25, 2025 (free to read)
“Marginalia,” Rescuing Curiosity: A WriteHive Anthology, Inked in Gray Press, March 4, 2025
“Exile,” Carnival of Horror, Undertaker Books, April 4, 2025
“Turning Tail,” Shallow Waters Flash Fiction finalist, Crystal Lake Entertainment, April 18, 2025
“The Devil’s Bathtub,” Shallow Waters Flash Fiction 1st place winner, Crystal Lake Entertainment, May 11, 2025
“Floaters,” Undertaker Books, June 3, 2025 (free to read)
“Origami,” Shallow Water Flash Fiction finalist, Crystal Lake Entertainment, June 15, 2025
“From Black Clouds,” Kosmos Obscura, Graveside Press, June 27, 2025
“Growing Things,” Shallow Water Flash Fiction 1st place winner, Crystal Lake Entertainment, August 10, 2025
“Infiltration,” Out There, Sans. Press, September 7, 2025
“Eviratum,” Shallow Water Flash Fiction finalist, Crystal Lake Entertainment, September 13, 2025
“Wandering Lights,” Shallow Waters Flash Fiction finalist, Crystal Lake Entertainment, October 7, 2025 (reprint)
“Glory to God,” Dark Paths: A Queer Horror Romance Collection, A Coup of Owls Press, October 31, 2025 (novelette)
“Come In From the Cold,” Cemetery Songs Vol. 1, Eldritch Cat Press, October 31, 2025
“Chrysalis in Chrysanthemum,” Gavagai, November 5, 2025 (free to read)
“Zombie Lesbian Bed Death,” Necro-Sapiens, Savage Realms Press, November 10, 2025
“A Swirling Light,” Shallow Waters Flash Fiction finalist, Crystal Lake Entertainment, November 13, 2025
“Weed Killer,” Horrific Scribes Presents: Invasions of World, Home, Body, and Mind, Horrific Scribblings, December 16, 2025 (reprint)

On the personal side, I have had no luck with my weight, but my health numbers are on the edge of apocalyptic and my right knee is protesting. I really think I need to buckle down and try to push beyond my comfort zone to bring my weight down, for my own sake. It doesn’t improve things much aesthetically, but I think it’ll make me feel better in general. It’s going to take a combination of food adjustments and working out more, both of which will be difficult. My later working hours means that I’m often eating dinner and decompressing at 10 or 11 PM, which makes setting aside a lot of time for working out at night harder. I started on a supplement that was supposed to regulate my hormones into helping with my insulin resistance, but I’m not sure how much that’s working. It is, however, clearing up my hormonal acne quite a bit, though.

I also was unable to procure an office job, something with regular hours and benefits. I have health care through the Marketplace (and it didn’t go up too, too much after the subsidies expired, which I know makes me lucky) and I started working through Instacart. I love some things about it and hate other things, but I’m good at it, and it’s allowing me to subsist until I can pull myself together. I don’t think I can pull myself together until this country pulls itself together. I just don’t have the stability to be stable. But I’ve developed something of a routine, unconventional though it is, and although I started out working six days a week, I’ve adjusted it down to five, although that usually means working a little longer on the working days. Now that I’m writing more regularly, I appreciate the extra day off.

In the coming year, I have a good number of things coming out, as detailed earlier in this post: May Cooler Heads Prevail (novella, Jan/Feb 2026), A Nightmare for All Seasons (poetry collection, March 2026), In the Dollhouse We All Wait (novel, April 2026), and Never & Forever (M8, novel, TBA).

I’m playing with possibly putting out Hear You Scream, a short collection of horror short stories and a novelette, for Halloween. I’m still wondering whether I should self-publish the Dracula reimagining or find a traditional publishing home for it. But although I put aside a little of my paycheck every week, it’s still wicked expensive to get pieces edited, so these things will mostly be determined by whether I can afford it.

I also really want to get into writing some creative non-fiction/articles that have been knocking around my head for a while. They’re on my list this year.

The rest of my writing/editing schedule this year:
-Complete fix of Dracula reimagining
-Final edit of May Cooler Heads Prevail
-Edit and submit Never & Forever (M8)
-Rewrite We Follow You in the Dark
-Write The Twelfth Wife
-Q&C edit of Masque

This is actually quite a spare schedule. I may add writing Hearts & Heads (Thorns 6) onto the list or tackle some of my shorter pieces that have been waiting. I may finally do that rewrite of War House that I keep putting on my list and never doing.

But although I’m tackling The Twelfth Wife, which I expect will be quite epic in scope and has been one of my bucket list stories that I wasn’t ready to write until recently, I want to seriously pull back on how hard I’ve been working on the writing front for over two decades. Under my Aurelia T. Evans name, I’ve completed two trilogies and two series. Under this name, I’m halfway through the Thorns series, which is its own kind of epic. I’ve written a slew of short novels and novellas, some published and some not. I need to finish the Thorns series. I need to write the rest of the UA duology or trilogy. I have pieces I haven’t even touched yet. I’m not lacking for work or ideas. Ideas are rarely the problem. The problem is always and everywhere Time. And Time is Money. The previous two years, I went through a lot of Money to have enough Time to write a lot again, but now I’m working for Money and have less Time.

I’m not in my twenties anymore. I need to take care of my body. I need more sleep. I can’t do all-nighters. I’m turning forty this year, and I’d like to figure out how to mark this milestone, especially given I have trouble seeing myself after forty, and that’s created a bit of superstition on my part.

I’m still going to be writing. I don’t know how to not write. I’m just going to…slow down. Take my time on things rather than rush to a finish line. Work on patience. Read more (I miss reading and I have so many wonderful books to read or reread). Try more art, like crochet and drawing and cross-stitch. Play more piano. I got into it earlier this year, but it fell back when I started working.

2025 needs to be taken out and summarily shot, but everything in 2026 is going to remain agonizing for a while, too. Rest and rejuvenation are going to be an important part of enduring this. And I’m still going to accomplish some pretty amazing things. Between Masque, the Dracula reimagining, and The Twelfth Wife, it’s like I’ve finally reached the point in my writing career that my experience finally meets my ambition. If I can write The Twelfth Wife, I might just burst.

I’m going to skip tomorrow’s blog post, so I’ll see you again next Friday. Take care of yourself, and have a low-key happy New Year’s Day. Me and my family will be eating junk and watching Monk Season 7. Cheers!

The cancer no one wants to talk about

09 Wednesday Apr 2025

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My colonoscopy/endoscopy companion wants to remind you to get screened at 45, or earlier if you have concerning symptoms.

I want to preface this by saying that this post is good news. I’m not burying the lede on something so serious.

A few years ago, I experienced some significant gastrointestinal changes. I won’t go into the details, but I will say that I’ve been diagnosed with IBS since college (also with visceral hypersensitivity since a really bad gastroenteritis infection a little over ten years ago). IBS is a diagnosis of exclusion that basically means that my GI tract doesn’t have any inflammation, just a functional issue that is occasionally unpleasant but, by and large, harmless.

However, it shares some symptoms with colorectal cancer, which is much less harmless. I always knew I wanted to get a colonoscopy again before 40, rather than waiting for 45, which is when doctors recommend screenings for those with average risk for colorectal cancer. People have been getting colorectal cancer younger (ex: Chadwick Boseman and James Van Der Beek), and it tends to grow faster when it hits younger. My other concern was that my reliably erratic but harmless symptoms might mask something much less harmless.

The key in assessing your own erratic symptoms is in the patterns. My IBS has been, as I said, reliably erratic for two decades. Then things got less reliable, with a flare-up lasting 13 months instead of 3-4 at most (more typical for me). Now, there were some significant life changes at the time, not to mention that I’m simply getting older. However, changes in GI patterns is a key symptom to watch out for.

But I waited. I waited because I assumed I was going to get a job in the new year of 2024, so I’d dropped my health insurance. I waited a year without health insurance and unable to get a job before deciding I didn’t want to wait anymore. If something was wrong at my early age, by the time you have symptoms it’s probably already approaching advanced. I’d somehow deal with the problem of paying for treatment. If something wasn’t wrong, at least I’d have peace of mind, because at this point, I could no longer convince myself I was too young for what I was afraid of.

I talked to my nurse practitioner, who pointed me toward ColonoscopyAssist, which allows those without insurance or with bad coverage to set up a colonoscopy appointment out of pocket without having to get a referral to a gastroenterologist first. It’s expensive, around $1700 for the colonoscopy alone, but before 45 and officially covered screenings, it can actually be less expensive out of pocket than with poor insurance coverage. I set up the colonoscopy/endoscopy appointment for the end of March. (I have GERD and some stomach issues, hence the endoscopy. GERD can cause esophageal cancer due to constant inflammation from the acid reflux, so I’m trying to keep an eye on that, too.)

Prep was predictably unpleasant, although when you already have IBS, it’s not intolerable. The weeks of worry was worse. I was living with Schrodinger’s cancer. Usually I’m afraid of not waking up from anesthesia. This time, I was worried about waking up to bad news. I tried to prepare myself and discovered that knowing you can get the bad news doesn’t really prepare you. Part of your brain will always think it can’t happen to you, even if you know it can. It’ll always be an emotional shock, even if it isn’t an intellectual one.

I brought a small stuffed tiger with me to the procedure, because giant pandas are frowned upon and won’t fit on the hospital bed with me. The procedure is unpleasant to think about, but it’s significantly more pleasant to undergo than the prep, because you’re under the whole time.

After the procedure, I woke up groggy, kind of drunk, but I recovered pretty fast. My dad was there to bring me to the procedure and take me home, and he looked over the printouts with me prior to the gastroenterologist arriving, so I already had an idea of the relatively good news she was going to share.

My gastroenterologist informed me that she found some gastritis and a hiatal hernia in my stomach, which was expected but nothing to be concerned about. Then she said she found three polyps in my colon, all within normal range, and they appeared benign. She removed all three, but one of them had been on the large side of normal and had to be ablated, so I had to be careful exerting myself for a week. My visceral hypersensitivity means that I felt it more than the average person.

(You usually don’t feel your viscera, but the nerves in my colon are overactive, although not nearly as much as they were ten years ago anymore, thank goodness. In the initial months, it literally felt like organ failure, no exaggeration. That was when I got my first colonoscopy/endoscopy. Now my colon is just kind of…there and occasionally aches, because your viscera don’t have a lot of sensory nuance. If it feels anything, it’s mostly variations on pain.)

As of this week, pathology has officially confirmed that the polyps are hyperplastic and utterly benign. The relief that I felt from my gastroenterologist’s assessment after the procedure and after the official pathology assessment cannot be overstated. After the procedure, I had my dad take me to Braum’s for a chocolate shake in celebration (and to break the prep fast).

I am an anxious person, a worrier by nature, but I have a slew of ways that I deal with it by now. I’m pretty good about knowing when to wait and see and when to act, even if I don’t always have confidence in myself in that regard. I was right to advocate for my colorectal health, given the givens. I was right to be concerned and to seek out screenings, especially at my age, with the potential for my health issues to lead to dismissing bigger health concerns, with a family history of colon cancer (from not doing the screenings) and polyps, with changes in my gastrointestinal habits (no red flags, but a bunch of yellow flags). Just because the colonoscopy confirmed that my new problems are probably variations of old problems doesn’t mean my concerns weren’t valid.

I have one more specialist to see regarding different problems (and perhaps some of the same). I’ve set my appointment for next month. This specialist is fortunately covered by my bad insurance. There’s still some potential for bad news here, but it’s not as likely.

Changes in gastrointestinal habits are embarrassing, but they’re a major yellow flag in the realm of colorectal cancer, and as a friend says, your body’s warranty runs out at 35. Getting a colonoscopy is low stakes (if pricey) and more important than ever. Even if you don’t have any issues, you should absolutely get screened at 45, if not sooner. With the age of colorectal cancer incidence lowering, I’m surprised that the recommended screening age hasn’t gone down yet. Don’t let mortification or reluctance to talk about your gastrointestinal habits keep you from advocating for your health. If you don’t get it early, colorectal cancer is one of the easiest cancers to prevent.

Here are early warning signs of cancer (that share some symptoms with IBS and inflammatory bowel diseases): [Reference]
– Persistent change in bowel habits
– Narrow or pencil-thin stools
– Diarrhea or constipation
– Blood in the stool, rectal bleeding (blood may appear as bright red blood or dark stools)
– Persistent abdominal pain or discomfort, such as cramps or bloating
– Feeling that your bowel doesn’t empty completely
– Unexplained weight loss
– Fatigue, tiredness, or weakness

Friday Update

21 Friday Jul 2023

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News:

I’ve been trying to figure out how to use this site, since I’m not much for writing articles unless inspiration hits me over the head with a mace, and I’ve set aside lyrics for poetry lately. I think I’ll try this weekly round-up so that it doesn’t just feel like a promotional machine.

This week, I received two eagerly anticipated acceptances, but I won’t be able to talk about them until the table of contents is officially released. After a rash of rejections, it’s been a real ego boost to get some good news. I’ve actually had some good rejections, too—short-listed but not quite right, personalized notes. A lot of ‘always the bridesmaid, but never the bride.’ It’s nice to blush.

However, what I can tell you is that I’ve been accepted in a dream market, Medusa Publishing Haus’s Queer Saints Volume II. The idea behind the anthologies is that queer people are allowed to be messy, unpleasant, and downright villains, instead of having to be the Good Queer with healthy, idealized (read: unrealistic) relationships.

I submitted to the first volume with no luck, but I’m thrilled to be part of the second volume. The story, “Caregiver,” centers an estranged adult child returning home to take care of their aging parent. It was a really rough one to write, with nothing supernatural to filter the bad feelings, so you probably won’t enjoy it, but perhaps you’ll be moved. QSII comes out on Halloween 2023. If you go to the link above, you’ll see the rest of the TOC and story descriptions. I think this is going to be a helluvan anthology.

In addition, my short story, “A Bladder Full,” is part of the Crystal Lake Publishing Shallow Waters flash fiction contest, with the theme of Time Anomaly. So I wrote my absolute worst nightmare of not being able to find a bathroom when I need to pee, then made it worse. I share it now instead of next week because I think voting starts next week and ends Friday morning. The stories aren’t free to read, but I consider the $5/month tier worth reading a short anthology of horror flash every month.

Works in Progress:

Earlier this week, I finished the arrangement and editing of the horror short story/poetry collection that I’ve been working on since Fall 2021 (but mostly the last six months). The indie press call I finished it for isn’t until October, but it’s good to get it done early, since I don’t know when I’m going back to work. And before that, I finished the edits on a very short horror novel, so I’ve got two manuscripts prepped and ready to go for any potentially appropriate calls.

If I have no luck with the collection after a year, I might try selling the pieces individually, then, once all exclusive rights expire, put out the collection on my own. Same with the short novel. They’re really short enough that doing it myself doesn’t break the bank quite like my Thorns novels do.

Right now, I’m writing another patch of short stories, some for submission calls, some just to have on hand for future calls.

After that, it’ll be time to tackle the double edit of Crooked House (Thorns 5), since my editors are expecting it in August.

Poem of the Week:

(In the absence of lyrics, I’m going to start sharing my favorite flash poem posted to Twitter/Tumblr within the last week.)

There is no witch in 313.
She’s just an eccentric old woman,
no hen nights or pagan coven.
There is no witch in 313.

Kids here can be so mean.
So she doesn’t say hi
or look you in the eye.
There is no witch in 313.

I couldn’t recall when I’d seen
Aggie last but kids get sick
or move to New Brunswick.
There is no witch in 313.

She didn’t do anything to Janine.
Forked fingers don’t cast a curse
or compel ravens to disperse.
There is no witch in 313.

Yes, I promise I’ve been
to her apartment by myself.
Only weird knickknacks on the shelf.
There is no witch in 313.

And if you see a reddish gleam
in my eye whenever I pay her a visit,
it’s just a trick of light, isn’t it?
There is no witch in 313.

Resolute (5)

03 Tuesday Jan 2023

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I’ve been having trouble putting together this end-of-year list because of a deep sense of despair and hopelessness for this future, be it this year or five years from now. I recognize this as depression, partially situational and partially bad brain chemistry that I don’t treat with medication, just sort of learn to live with. As a result, I can build momentum without motivation, and I will proceed with plans made, but God, it’s hard to believe in myself.

2022 was the year that I finally gave up the ghost at the job I’ve been paying the bills with for eight years. My last day is next Friday, and even though it was my decision, I can’t help feeling like it’s a kind of failure that I couldn’t make it work. I suppose it’s like a bad marriage in a way. You know it’s best for everyone if you separate, but you invested all of this time that now feels like it yields nothing. And that’s where I’m mentally stuck right now, although I have general plans of pivoting industries and I have the privilege of a financial cushion.

I’ve tried to pivot before, and it didn’t go so well, so I’ve got that failure hanging over me to remind me that this may not work out. I have back-up options if that happens, but it’s still not the best personal encouragement for making such a big change.

Less depressing changes in my personal life include getting to watch my niece grow so much between turning one and turning two. She’s gone from being a baby to a little girl with opinions and personality, and being called Tía is strange and amazing.

I’ve also had a banner writing year because of a slew of poems and short stories sold, which is the kind of encouragement I needed and tells me that I’m doing something right. Between flat rates and royalties, I made over a thousand dollars, which is a milestone I’ve never reached before. Now, because of PUPPETEER professional edits, I spent significantly more, so I still haven’t made an actual profit, but getting paid pro rates on some poems and short stories is incredibly gratifying.

Because of quitting my job and having a block of unpaid months, I’m going to make it a point in 2023 to write and edit more with the aim of selling. I have a handful of longer works that need to be edited for submission, and I’m going to take my ‘sabbatical’ to do that as well as get some sleep (rest and rejuvenation).

This year didn’t produce any self-published novels because I had other deadlines to meet, but here are my stats for writing this year, not including the editing work done on those novels with an aim for self-publishing this year. Considering I never thought I could do short form or poetry well, I’m tremendously proud of my short-form writing accomplishments, if frustrated by how far behind I am on my novella/novel schedule. I also can’t thank Quill & Crow enough for seeing value and beauty in so many of my gothic and horror pieces in 2022.

– wrote at least one flash poem a day, including a 31-part long concept poem for December
– wrote 15 short stories, 1 novelette
– planned to finish a novel by the end of the year and start a new one, but dayjob required a lot of overtime and energy in December, so I’m almost finished but not quite
– published 3 poems and 6 short stories, with more to be announced and published in 2023

Poetry:

“Goddamned,” Crow Calls: Volume 4, Quill & Crow Publishing House, June 12, 2022
“The Chase,” Crow Calls: Volume 4, Quill & Crow Publishing House, June 12, 2022
“An Empyrean Con,” Bloodless, Sliced Up Press, October 28, 2022

Short Stories:

“Resin,” Beyond the Veil, Ghost Orchid Press, February 9, 2022
“A Still and Weathered Stone,” The Crow’s Quill, Quill & Crow Publishing House, June 2022 issue
“Tastes of Desperation,” Tales from Brackish Harbor, Quill & Crow Publishing House, August 13, 2022
“Lullaby,” The Crow’s Quill, Quill & Crow Publishing House, October 2022 issue
“Wandering Lights,” Halloween Horrors, Black Widow Press, October 13, 2022
“Ragged,” The Crow’s Quill, Quill & Crow Publishing House, November 2022 issue

It’s my plan for 2023 to continue submitting new and trunk work to short story and poetry submission calls, but I’m going to focus more on long form this year, including completing some of my contracted novel work and wrapping up stories already slated for self-publication (with editors already paid for editing work on most of them). But anything else as yet unassigned for self-publication, I’m going to either try to submit to good indie presses (novellas and shorter novels) or find representation (longer novels). I may still self-publish for creative control, but I might not be able to afford to do it for a while because I’m saving for an associate’s degree.

Among self-published works coming out this year, I have PUPPETEER (Thorns 4); OUT OF CURIOSITY AND HUNGER (formerly THE VERY HUNGRY), a short creature feature novel; and DEAD ENDS, a collection of morbid and macabre poetry, most previously published on social media (so I can’t sell most of them), but some have never been posted before.

I’m sick to my stomach from blowing up my life with no guarantees, because I’m not a gambler and I much prefer a sure thing, but I’m going to press on anyway, because that’s just what I have to do and have always done. And I’m going to get some rest, because that’s what I need.

Here’s hoping that writing continues to be fruitful and fulfilling and that 2023 ends up better than it feels right now.

Warning Signs

01 Friday May 2020

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white rose and pink smoke

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The coming mist glows yellow
With sulfur in its smell
A smoky sky, hanging low,
Carries dangerous stories to tell.

Red sky in the morning
Blood on the moon at night
An ill-swept wind blows in
With an eerie kind of light.

The world is lit with warning signs
The roads run dark and still
Cyan bruises on these lips of mine
Purple sage upon the hill.

Red eyes from the mourning
Blood on the sheets at night
A sickness marks our subtle sin
The beast will have its bite.

In all the colors of all the signs
We saw but haven’t seen
That we bring ourselves to an end of times
When all we can see is green.
When all we can need is green.

A person must be wicked
If a person’s to be heard
Were I a witch, with verdant skin,
Could the lesson be learned?

Red hives in the morning
Blood from the mouth at night
The edge of green is browning
And blackens into white.

The Valley of the Shadow

08 Wednesday Aug 2018

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agriculture animal baby sheep blur

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If you’ll permit me a moment of what is probably blasphemy, my mind went a weird way while thinking about the valley of the shadow of death (Psalms), conflating it with the valley of dry bones (Ezekiel) and Gehenna (valley of Hinnom, also the word used for hell in the New Testament). And then with a little Silence of the Lambs memory mixed in. Because why not?

As song styles go, it probably bears resemblance to Sarah McLachlan in her Possession period.

THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW

The shepherd leads me into the valley
Warm green pastures and clear cold streams
Sparrows of the air, lilies of the field
Land of plenty, land of peace and of dreams.

Yea
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow
I will fear no, I will fear no

And as I watch the emerald fields
Turn black as coal ash all around
The shepherd leads flock to a slaughtering barn
Until blood of the lambs seeps into the ground.

Yea
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow
I will fear no, I will fear no

The life-giving stream beds crackle and dry
Bones pile to the sides well over my head
The shepherd, he waits at the end of the valley
Leading me to where all the others were led.

They call it the valley
Of the shadow of death
The shadow of life
Cast by every last breath.

Yea
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow
I will fear no, I will fear…

No, I will fear.

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25 Sunday Mar 2018

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496265_22437560bycristinaI’m in the process of completing two new long-form horror movie reviews, and if I’m lucky, I’ll get some more written during the week.

I have a great love of most forms of media and multiple genres. I consume so much music. I watch so much genre film and TV (granted, usually years behind everyone else). I’ve been a voracious reader all my life. But I’ve only ever felt qualified to write about horror movies. That’s a niche where I feel comfortable, where I have enough of a foundation to explain what works and what doesn’t, and I’ve read and written enough horror that I like trying to figure out what fixes could have improved a weaker script. I feel comfortable having opinions that might differ from the rest of the critics, and I’m usually pretty good at explaining why.

I think the fact that I can find the good even in the mediocre speaks to a real love of horror, and I sometimes feel like you have to love something to properly criticize it, because then you know any negative criticism isn’t an indictment or dismissal of the entire genre, or even of the movie itself.

Outside of horror movies, though, I like to joke that I have no taste. I just like what I like, and there’s no shame in that.

And I almost always add that my brother has far better taste than I do. He consumes even more media than me and has many more thoughts on the matter, with a greater critical understanding of a broader variety of entertainment. I do horror, and I love talking with him about horror movies, because it’s one of the few things where I feel I come from a place of authority. When he was younger, he used to be terrified of horror, but I slowly helped introduce him back to it when he grew up and our relationship was changing from that between two children to two adults. So we kind of built a new relationship around that.

But he does everything, and I love to read his takes on the rest of popular culture and critical response. We grew up on geek culture, and we’re both unapologetic nerds. We just went in slightly different directions with it.

Do check him out, and start with his ranking of the movies of Stephen Spielberg HERE.