Category Archives: Writing

This is just my face: Friday Update

08 Friday Sep 2023

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Bloody Ghost meets Thing. It’s good to make new friends.

News:

Because I somehow completely forgot about it last week, here’s the link again for “Of the Many Faces,” a gross and sexy and beautiful story (free to read) about a demon exchanging faces to overcome heartache.

Queer Saints Vol II has its cover reveal, plus the retooled cover for Vol I. They look pretty darn cool.

Other than that, there’s not much going on to announce.

I have, however, received so many rejections in the last week that it was a bit of an emotional beating. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t take rejections personally, but that doesn’t mean I’m not disappointed. And I like validation as much as the next writer.

Usually, if a rejection particularly hurts, I give myself thirty minutes to feel bad about it, but this week, my emotions just didn’t want to be scheduled. So I took advantage of updating to Windows 11 and didn’t work at all on Wednesday. Sometimes, in doing work I love to do seven days a week, especially work that doesn’t pay well, I forget it’s still work and I need to take a break now and then. I read most of the day while I was locked out of my computer and felt significantly better afterward.

I reminded myself yesterday that I like my writing and psyched myself back up by scrolling through my short story collection I’m submitting in October, which is full of bangers, in my ever-so-objective opinion.

Works in Progress:

I finished We Follow You in the Dark, and it’s now on sub, even though I’m still not sure if it’s too short to be a novel (house styles can differ on word counts). So I’m between significant projects right now.

On a whim, I decided to work on a shorter version of an idea that already turned into a novel. This is not the first time I’ve done this, just to see if it can be scaled down to better match the sheer vibe of the original concept. I’m playing with the idea of eventually compiling a collection of these alternative versions.

After this, I’ll probably tackle a short story that isn’t due for a few months, but it would be nice to have, and I believe a few flash themes will be available, so I can work on that, too.

Then I think I’ll do the last proofreading pass on Puppeteer (Thorns 4) to send to the formatter, which means Puppeteer will probably be released in October.

After starting this trend in August, I’m still producing gothic horror and fantasy lyrical poems every five days or so. It’s exciting to unironically and unself-consciously explore these themes and just sit with the atmosphere in such a beautiful structure. I really like lyrics, even if the verses themselves wouldn’t translate well, perhaps, into song. They’re structured in a way that encourages rhyming, but it’s also flexible, because you can choose your own structure.

I’d kind of like to write a sestina one day, but every time I look up how they’re built, they give examples that don’t follow it, and I get confused, so I’ll keep pushing that back until I understand what’s going on.

Books I’m Reading:

IT by Stephen King
Discount Armageddon by Seanan McGuire
Cruel Summer by Wesley Southard
The Flame and the Flower by Kathleen Woodiwiss (finished)
Pornography for the End of the World by Brendon Vidito

Music I’m Listening To:

Halloween playlist
Agnes Obel
Billie Eilish
Fleurie
Eurielle
Symphonies by Emily West
Abyss playlist
All I Ever Wanted by Kelly Clarkson

Things I’m Watching:

The Last Exorcism
The Haunting in Connecticut
Wounds
Hell Fest
Turistas
American Monster series
America’s Got Talent series
Dr. Pimple Popper series
CSI series
CSI:Miami series
Murder, She Wrote series
White Collar series
Locke & Key series
Buffy the Vampire Slayer series

Poem of the Week:

whiff of smoke and lavender
dried petals and stems strewn
over carved wooden pentagram
pour the wine and steep the milk
with rose hips and cardamom
copper hovers amid ash
blood not from the palm
hydrogen peroxide with bandage
over the safer tough arm
smells like witchcraft in here

Katie Cruel: Friday Update

01 Friday Sep 2023

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News:

No writing news this week, actually. We’re kind of between calls, and most of what’s coming out later this year has been announced.

Works in Progress:

It’s a new month, so August calls are done and September calls have begun. I just sent a small slate of pieces where appropriate, and there are a few more calls opening in the next few days I’ll send out, too.

Mostly, I’ve been working on We Follow You in the Dark. I finished the first round of edits and cut about 9K words from the story, so now it’s around 55K, which might be too short to try to sub to agents as a novel, like Question Not My Salt, but I guess we’ll see once I’m finished with second-round edits, which should be today or tomorrow. I was worried I’d have more to do on this second round because of how demanding the first round was, but nope, it’s still just polishing. I’m not complaining.

We Follow is resurrecting all kinds of nineties nostalgia for a shopping mall now dead and gone that meant a lot to me as a kid. It inspired some poetry in the editing process. In addition, my daily Quill & Crow Crow Calls have been inspiring some horror lyrics. They’ll probably get turned into poetry, but I like song structure.

After We Follow, I have a novel under my other name to edit. Then I have a few small-long projects I’m thinking about just buckling down and tackling through some intensive writing months. There’s not much short story writing on my docket except for flash contests, unless a call really inspires me, but we’re heading into spooky season, which tends to bring out more calls.

Books I’m Reading:

IT by Stephen King
Discount Armageddon by Seanan McGuire
Cruel Summer by Wesley Southard
The Flame and the Flower by Kathleen Woodiwiss

Music I’m Listening To:

Ruelle
Tina Guo
Lindsey Sterling
Agnes Obel
Buffy the Vampire Slayer score
Neverworld’s End by Xandria
The Heart of Everything by Within Temptation
Mirrorball by Sarah McLachlan
Modern Alchemy by Zayde Wolf
Moulin Rouge albums
No Moment but Now by Wendy Colonna

Things I’m Watching:

America’s Got Talent series
Dr. Pimple Popper series
CSI series
CSI:Miami series
Murder, She Wrote series
White Collar series
The Great British Baking Show: The Professionals series (finished)
The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt series
Locke & Key series

Poem of the Week:

these two hands
joined perfect union
tie the satin ribbon
white and pure
around their wrists
bind together
loyalty and love
tighter smooth
insidious dents
burst capillaries
knot again between
clasped fingers
dye the fabric
a deep red
tighter

Demon-Cuddling: Friday Update

25 Friday Aug 2023

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News:

So I got my dates mixed up for The Devil Take You from Sentinel Creatives, which includes my short story “The Plank in Thine Own.” The Kickstarter opened on Monday, so you can get your book through that, plus some great perks if they reach their stretch goals. Sentinel Creatives go out of their way to create immersive experiences, so they do audiobooks and soundtracks, and it’s really pretty neat.

Last month was my first time properly on sub with a novel since my early twenties. I received my first novel rejection this week. It’s not exciting, but it’s all part of the process, and being a part of that process is exciting. I’ll continue to try to shop around with it to appropriate novel/novella calls (there’s a new imprint that looks like a good fit), but because it’s a weird length—novella by some standards and very short novel by others—I don’t know whether it’s a great piece to sub to agents. At the very least, I have it there in my trunk, as needed.

Otherwise, things are pretty quiet on this particular front. I have handfuls of short stories on sub but probably won’t hear back on them until September and October.

Works in Progress:

I finished Crooked House (Thorns 5) edits and sent the most recent draft out to my editors and beta readers.

The next thing on my docket was editing We Follow You in the Dark, a short horror novel set in a haunt experience, but I got spooked (no pun intended), so I edited down a few short stories to gather my courage. But I’m working on We Follow now and about a quarter of the way through.

It’s a more difficult draft. Usually, I’m just paring and cleaning up what’s there in the rough, but for We Follow, I knew by the end of writing it that I needed to move whole sections around, which fudges with my transition bridges. I’ll probably have to fix more in the second round of edits. This book, however, is definitely novel-length by multiple house standards, so it might be in a better position to sub to agents if I can tidy the manuscript changes.

If you’d like to support a writer through a rough edit, buy me a coffee?

Books I’m Reading:

IT by Stephen King
Discount Armageddon by Seanan McGuire
Cruel Summer by Wesley Southard
The Flame and the Flower by Kathleen Woodiwiss

Music I’m Listening To:

Billie Eilish
Fleurie
Svrcina
Jordin Sparks debut album
The Silent Force by Within Temptation
Hide and Seek by The Birthday Massacre
Joanne by Lady Gaga
Live Around the World by Queen with Adam Lambert
Crooked House playlist

Things I’m Watching:

America’s Got Talent series
CSI series
CSI:Miami series
Murder, She Wrote series
White Collar series
The Great British Baking Show: The Professionals series
The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt series
Locke & Key series
The Pope’s Exorcist movie (didn’t like)
M3GAN movie (loved)
Star Trek (2009) movie
The Black Demon movie (didn’t like)

Poem of the Week:

every night I leave the flame
flickering on the porch
there’s nowhere and
no one for miles
i light the lantern
so anyone and anything
may find a way home

Hamstead Heath Horror: Friday Update

18 Friday Aug 2023

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News:

My short horror story “A Bug in the Design” was posted yesterday for the Crystal Lake Shallow Waters Flash Fiction Contest, for $5/month patrons. It’s horror grounded in reality rather than supernatural, inspired by one day when I left work on a weekend when my car was the only one in the parking lot and something did not want me anywhere close to my car.

In addition, my humor-horror story “The Cut,” about a baking-karaoke reality show, has been published again in Shallow Waters Vol. 9, which hit first in horror anthologies, so that’s exciting. It’s only 99c, with previous winners from the contest, so it’s got some great pieces.

My medieval story, “The Plank in Thine Own,” about an ambitious monk and his demon experiment, should be coming out today in The Devil Take You, initially through Sentinel Creatives’ Kickstarter, but it doesn’t look like they’ve opened yet. I’ll include the link in next week’s news update.

My family visited my brother and sister-in-law, so we had a great time in Oklahoma with my niblings. I can’t read on car trips anymore because I get carsick, but I can write during them, since I don’t have to read much as I go. I look out at the horizon and make all the typos I need to. It’s a great three-hour stretch of time when I’m not connected to wi-fi, so I can’t do anything but write. Good way to get a story done on the way there and another done on the way back.

Earlier this week, we had a stretch of three days without triple-digit heat where just walking outside didn’t feel like a convection oven. It was strange to go out and think this is so nice about 95 degree weather.

I injured my leg about two months ago, grade II muscle tear in the right calf and a grade I strain on the left, and it’s been a long recovery (for me). But I’ve transitioned out of a support boot into supportive shoes, and now out of the supportive shoes for more barefoot walking through the house. They’re more stressed than I’m used to after long walks, but I can do them as long as I take a break if I get close to a strain. The first time I tried swimming as low-impact exercise in the first month, my leg couldn’t push me back out of the water, so I had to nix that, but now it’s strong enough for swimming. Still not at a point I can go back to my usual workouts, but definite improvement. I keep telling myself to be patient, or I’ll reinjure and have to wait even longer.

Works in Progress:

Finished my latest patch of short stories over the weekend with the help of the car trips. Generally, for longer pieces I ask myself if I can use the pieces for something else of my own. I have a list of short story collections that I’m slowly building either for self-publishing or for collection calls, but there’s no hurry on most of them, since they have stories in them that need to wait for exclusive rights to clear before I can reprint anyway.

However, for flash contests, I love trying new things and going in more random directions. They only take an hour or two of my time, so it’s a nice exercise, both to write these stories and then to trim them down to their most fundamental elements. I’ve discovered that all this short story work has improved my editing of longer works, too.

I’m on the second edit of Crooked House (Thorns 5) now, and it’s so much easier than second rounds used to be. The way the edits worked before was round one was macro edits, lots of cutting and rearranging and getting rid of my crutches, then round two would be micro edits. But I’m getting more of the micro edits done in the first round, so second round so far has been more of a polish. My editors are going to have plenty of things to change, of course, but in terms of my work, it’s cool that I notice marked improvement.

Books I’m Reading:

IT by Stephen King
Discount Armageddon by Seanan McGuire
Cruel Summer by Wesley Southard

Music I’m Listening To:

Dark ambient music
Miranda Lambert
Taylor Swift
Ruelle
Puppeteer (Thorns 4) playlist
Blacklist playlist

Things I’m Watching:

America’s Got Talent series
CSI series
CSI:Miami series
Not Dead Yet series (caught up)
Murder She Wrote series
White Collar series
Count of Monte Cristo movie

Poem of the Week:

put me under the knife
sophisticated barbarism

barbers used to be dentists
surgeons used to be butchers

small dog energy life
in hands and between blades

clambering for the pedestal
afraid the table will tilt

don’t need but want so hard
stomach pinches through muscle

it’s a horror show in here
I will pay dearly to be victim

Cutting Thorns Off Roses: Friday Update

11 Friday Aug 2023

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News:

Actually not a lot of news to report this week. I’m in waiting mode for rejections/acceptances, and there’s been some behind the scenes stuff, plus a few things coming out this week, like “A Bug in the Design” at Crystal Lake Shallow Waters, if you want to get in on that Patreon for some exciting new flash every month.

I had a comment to a Twitter post that’s doing some real numbers (for me), and it amuses me that a throwaway comment seems to have resonated like that.

I had my annual-ish ear cleaning, so now I can hear and I’m not stuck in my own head, which is nice.

I also saw Talk to Me, which I thought was amazing, a throat-punch for the first three parts. I agree with some people that it whiffed the ending and pulled the last few punches, but not in a way that negated the excellence that came before. It felt viral and modern without feeling too much on the phone; it felt like an authentic teen scream without watering itself down. It’s what the movie Slender Man aspired to and was too afraid to let itself be.

Works in Progress:

I finished the first round of edits on Crooked House (Thorns 5). I made a few small additions, but not what I was expecting. I think I’ll ask my beta readers and editors if they think I should add more, but for now it feels pretty solid as is, and I really, really like it.

As a Thorns novel, it’s as short as Puppeteer (Thorns 4) is long. It started at 158K words, and I cut it down to a bare 133K words. Still more than Nocturne, which is my longer gothic-style supernatural horror novel, but generally the Thorns novels average about 150-155K words.

I’m letting the edits breathe and doing another patch of short fiction. I’ve written two shorts and plan to write three more in the flash range. Then I’ll do the second editing round.

Books I’m Reading:

IT by Stephen King
Nightbitch by Rachel Yoder (finished)
Discount Armageddon by Seanan McGuire

Music I’m Listening To:

Ambient dark music
Dracula musical (Orton/Evans)
Kamelot
Halestorm

Things I’m Watching:

CSI series
CSI:Miami series
Great British Baking Show: Junior Bake-Off series (caught up)
Not Dead Yet series
Murder She Wrote series
Red Notice movie
NOPE movie
Fright Night (1985) movie – Why did no one tell me how delectably queer this movie is?

Poem of the Week:

should you sleepwalk
within the halls
please don’t hesitate
to ring a bell or call
but be extra careful
these darker nights
not to kindle candles
of strangers alight
you never know what
roams there with you
or, if it knows you know
it’s there, what it will do

Haunting the Monitor: Friday Update

04 Friday Aug 2023

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Bloody Ghost wants you to have a boo-tiful day.

News:

In case you missed it, pregnancy horror drabble (100-word micro fiction) “Birth” was posted for Hungry Shadows’ Deadly Drabble Tuesday earlier this week. This one started its life as a poem but was actually shortened for the drabble call.

“A Bladder Full” actually won 3rd place for the July Crystal Lake Shallow Waters flash fiction contest (theme: Time Anomaly), which really surprised me. This month, creature feature “A Bug in the Design” is a finalist for the theme Small Town Strange. I see a lot of new-to-me names on the list of finalists, so I’m looking forward to the contest introducing me to different writers. You can only read them under the $5/month tier, but it’s totally worth it to have what amounts to an anthology of flash every month, and it’s a lot of fun.

Jacob Steven Mohr announced the Table of Contents for Dead Letters: Episodes of Epistolary Horror, an anthology of found media (also from Crystal Lake Publishing), and my moreishly titled “The Behavioral Patterns of the Displaced Siberian Siren” is a part of it. I’ve been trying to sell this story for a bit, and I’m really excited for this anthology in general. Some of the titles are really funny and intriguing. Check out the TOC for some of the other contributors.

In addition, it was announced through their Facebook page, so I assume it’s okay to share that my flash piece “Sight Unseen” about a monster in a fixer-upper is part of Dragon’s Roost Press’s Novus Monstrum anthology.

Look at that, though. A lot of announcements this week of things to come, mostly in the very smol fiction range, but it’s nice to have some momentum.

Also, I’ll periodically let you know that I now have a Ko-Fi page, if you want to caffeinate an indie writer. A chai latte or iced mocha is one of my only vices.

Works in Progress:

I’m still working through the first round of edits on Crooked House (T5), and it’s a little more involved than I anticipated. The first quarter involved a lot of cuts, but I haven’t needed as many in the second and third quarter. If I add anything significant, it’ll be in this third quarter or the fourth. I’m still weighing whether it’s necessary. I might just finish out this edit, then come back to add as needed.

I have one small short story to write between editing rounds. Then I’ll dive back in for the polishing pre-professional edit, which I hope moves a little more quickly.

Books I’m Reading:

IT by Stephen King
Nightbitch by Rachel Yoder
Discount Armageddon by Seanan McGuire

Music I’m Listening To:

Sara Bareilles randomizer
Apocalypse and Chill by Delain
Arcadia by Eurielle
Arcadia by Lily Kershaw
Arrival soundtrack
Beauty and the Beast Broadway soundtrack
A Bit o’ This & That by Emilie Autumn
The Black Halo by Kamelot
Born This Way by Lady Gaga
Bram Stoker’s Dracula soundtrack
Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson

Things I’m Watching:

Scream series (finished)
CSI series
CSI:Miami series
Great British Baking Show: Junior Bake-Off series
Blacklist series (finished)
Black Butler series (finished)
Young Sheldon series (caught up)
Not Dead Yet series
The Huntsman: Winter War movie
Disenchanted movie
Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie

Poem of the Week:

hysteria
from the same root
as hysterectomy
defect of the uterus
emotional fit
of a tilted fist
abdominal dissension
no more trustworthy
than upset stomach
irrational these
emotional outbursts
with raised fists
and defections
vestigial as
appendices
post-appendectomy
can’t live with them
can’t live without them
and they can’t live without us
am I right
one root to another
what lunacy to need
lunatics
or leave them
to tidal devices
varied and variable
ephemeral as moonbeams
do what we can
as rational men
to ignore

The Worms are Coming: Friday Update

28 Friday Jul 2023

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News:

My story “Drip” is featured in That Old House: The Bathroom, which is a collection of stories that take place in a bathroom. One of the requirements of the call was that there be no gross horror, so it won’t be that sort of horror. I actually made a point to write Drip in a more poetic style, because there’s beauty in bathrooms, too.

Right now, it’s only available as e-book, because Ingram Spark is throttling indie publishers everywhere, slowing down to a bloody crawl and being pissants with their customer service. I don’t even use them, and I’m pissed. Like, I’m sorry, do you want Amazon to be the only game in town?

Hopefully, the paperback will be available soon.

After such a great last week with some dream acceptances, this week had a few gut punches (although one of those gut punches came in the form of a great personal rejection).

My acceptance rate right now is about ten percent of what I submit, which doesn’t seem to be atypical, and most of it flash/near-flash length for lower pay. There’s no guarantees, there’s no coasting, at least not for me at this time. Ninety percent rejection is just part of the game, and it doesn’t bother me much anymore. I give myself up to thirty minutes of mourning. Then I take what didn’t work for one publisher and try to figure out who to send it to next. One of those rejected pieces was already marked for another market if it didn’t make it.

Some writers simultaneously submit, and maybe that would make more business sense, but it seems a bit of a gamble for me, especially if you sim sub for drastically different pay rates and the lower pay rate accepts it first, but you don’t know if the other market will accept it at all. I’d rather just write a lot and send things out one at a time so I know exactly what I’m getting into.

Works in Progress:

I finished writing and editing the last patch of short stories for some August submission calls.

Now I’m a chapter into my first of two edits on Crooked House (Thorns 5), which I need to send my editors in August. It’s the shortest of the Thorns novel, which doesn’t mean it’s short. I do love the process of cutting a novel, though, even more than short stories.

After Crooked House, I’ll tackle the double edits of a short novel/novella, which will include a slight rewrite. But that won’t be for a bit, since Crooked House will take up a lot of time.

Books I’m Reading:

IT by Stephen King
Nightbitch by Rachel Yoder
Discount Armageddon by Seanan McGuire

Music I’m Listening To:

American Idol cover singles
All I Ever Wanted by Kelly Clarkson
All of Me by Mandy Harvey
“Mystery” by Hugh Laurie

Things I’m Watching:

Scream series
CSI series
Great British Baking Show: Junior Bake-Off series
Blacklist series
Young Sheldon series
Triangle movie
Snow White and the Huntsman movie
Old movie

Poem of the Week:

i don’t think i ask for much
cool sheets and empty room
empty bed under the covers
until my toes wiggle not
scrabble against the fitted

a long sleep in a cold room
cold cold empty empty room
cold cold empty empty dreams
not a single scream in the dark
or in the sweat-stained tangle
of the desperate savior of a dawn

every night i am denied
every night i am pursued
every night the darkness writhes
with shadow and blacklight forms
floating in the air in my eye
i am why we can’t have nice things

Friday Update

21 Friday Jul 2023

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News:

I’ve been trying to figure out how to use this site, since I’m not much for writing articles unless inspiration hits me over the head with a mace, and I’ve set aside lyrics for poetry lately. I think I’ll try this weekly round-up so that it doesn’t just feel like a promotional machine.

This week, I received two eagerly anticipated acceptances, but I won’t be able to talk about them until the table of contents is officially released. After a rash of rejections, it’s been a real ego boost to get some good news. I’ve actually had some good rejections, too—short-listed but not quite right, personalized notes. A lot of ‘always the bridesmaid, but never the bride.’ It’s nice to blush.

However, what I can tell you is that I’ve been accepted in a dream market, Medusa Publishing Haus’s Queer Saints Volume II. The idea behind the anthologies is that queer people are allowed to be messy, unpleasant, and downright villains, instead of having to be the Good Queer with healthy, idealized (read: unrealistic) relationships.

I submitted to the first volume with no luck, but I’m thrilled to be part of the second volume. The story, “Caregiver,” centers an estranged adult child returning home to take care of their aging parent. It was a really rough one to write, with nothing supernatural to filter the bad feelings, so you probably won’t enjoy it, but perhaps you’ll be moved. QSII comes out on Halloween 2023. If you go to the link above, you’ll see the rest of the TOC and story descriptions. I think this is going to be a helluvan anthology.

In addition, my short story, “A Bladder Full,” is part of the Crystal Lake Publishing Shallow Waters flash fiction contest, with the theme of Time Anomaly. So I wrote my absolute worst nightmare of not being able to find a bathroom when I need to pee, then made it worse. I share it now instead of next week because I think voting starts next week and ends Friday morning. The stories aren’t free to read, but I consider the $5/month tier worth reading a short anthology of horror flash every month.

Works in Progress:

Earlier this week, I finished the arrangement and editing of the horror short story/poetry collection that I’ve been working on since Fall 2021 (but mostly the last six months). The indie press call I finished it for isn’t until October, but it’s good to get it done early, since I don’t know when I’m going back to work. And before that, I finished the edits on a very short horror novel, so I’ve got two manuscripts prepped and ready to go for any potentially appropriate calls.

If I have no luck with the collection after a year, I might try selling the pieces individually, then, once all exclusive rights expire, put out the collection on my own. Same with the short novel. They’re really short enough that doing it myself doesn’t break the bank quite like my Thorns novels do.

Right now, I’m writing another patch of short stories, some for submission calls, some just to have on hand for future calls.

After that, it’ll be time to tackle the double edit of Crooked House (Thorns 5), since my editors are expecting it in August.

Poem of the Week:

(In the absence of lyrics, I’m going to start sharing my favorite flash poem posted to Twitter/Tumblr within the last week.)

There is no witch in 313.
She’s just an eccentric old woman,
no hen nights or pagan coven.
There is no witch in 313.

Kids here can be so mean.
So she doesn’t say hi
or look you in the eye.
There is no witch in 313.

I couldn’t recall when I’d seen
Aggie last but kids get sick
or move to New Brunswick.
There is no witch in 313.

She didn’t do anything to Janine.
Forked fingers don’t cast a curse
or compel ravens to disperse.
There is no witch in 313.

Yes, I promise I’ve been
to her apartment by myself.
Only weird knickknacks on the shelf.
There is no witch in 313.

And if you see a reddish gleam
in my eye whenever I pay her a visit,
it’s just a trick of light, isn’t it?
There is no witch in 313.

Resolute (5)

03 Tuesday Jan 2023

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I’ve been having trouble putting together this end-of-year list because of a deep sense of despair and hopelessness for this future, be it this year or five years from now. I recognize this as depression, partially situational and partially bad brain chemistry that I don’t treat with medication, just sort of learn to live with. As a result, I can build momentum without motivation, and I will proceed with plans made, but God, it’s hard to believe in myself.

2022 was the year that I finally gave up the ghost at the job I’ve been paying the bills with for eight years. My last day is next Friday, and even though it was my decision, I can’t help feeling like it’s a kind of failure that I couldn’t make it work. I suppose it’s like a bad marriage in a way. You know it’s best for everyone if you separate, but you invested all of this time that now feels like it yields nothing. And that’s where I’m mentally stuck right now, although I have general plans of pivoting industries and I have the privilege of a financial cushion.

I’ve tried to pivot before, and it didn’t go so well, so I’ve got that failure hanging over me to remind me that this may not work out. I have back-up options if that happens, but it’s still not the best personal encouragement for making such a big change.

Less depressing changes in my personal life include getting to watch my niece grow so much between turning one and turning two. She’s gone from being a baby to a little girl with opinions and personality, and being called Tía is strange and amazing.

I’ve also had a banner writing year because of a slew of poems and short stories sold, which is the kind of encouragement I needed and tells me that I’m doing something right. Between flat rates and royalties, I made over a thousand dollars, which is a milestone I’ve never reached before. Now, because of PUPPETEER professional edits, I spent significantly more, so I still haven’t made an actual profit, but getting paid pro rates on some poems and short stories is incredibly gratifying.

Because of quitting my job and having a block of unpaid months, I’m going to make it a point in 2023 to write and edit more with the aim of selling. I have a handful of longer works that need to be edited for submission, and I’m going to take my ‘sabbatical’ to do that as well as get some sleep (rest and rejuvenation).

This year didn’t produce any self-published novels because I had other deadlines to meet, but here are my stats for writing this year, not including the editing work done on those novels with an aim for self-publishing this year. Considering I never thought I could do short form or poetry well, I’m tremendously proud of my short-form writing accomplishments, if frustrated by how far behind I am on my novella/novel schedule. I also can’t thank Quill & Crow enough for seeing value and beauty in so many of my gothic and horror pieces in 2022.

– wrote at least one flash poem a day, including a 31-part long concept poem for December
– wrote 15 short stories, 1 novelette
– planned to finish a novel by the end of the year and start a new one, but dayjob required a lot of overtime and energy in December, so I’m almost finished but not quite
– published 3 poems and 6 short stories, with more to be announced and published in 2023

Poetry:

“Goddamned,” Crow Calls: Volume 4, Quill & Crow Publishing House, June 12, 2022
“The Chase,” Crow Calls: Volume 4, Quill & Crow Publishing House, June 12, 2022
“An Empyrean Con,” Bloodless, Sliced Up Press, October 28, 2022

Short Stories:

“Resin,” Beyond the Veil, Ghost Orchid Press, February 9, 2022
“A Still and Weathered Stone,” The Crow’s Quill, Quill & Crow Publishing House, June 2022 issue
“Tastes of Desperation,” Tales from Brackish Harbor, Quill & Crow Publishing House, August 13, 2022
“Lullaby,” The Crow’s Quill, Quill & Crow Publishing House, October 2022 issue
“Wandering Lights,” Halloween Horrors, Black Widow Press, October 13, 2022
“Ragged,” The Crow’s Quill, Quill & Crow Publishing House, November 2022 issue

It’s my plan for 2023 to continue submitting new and trunk work to short story and poetry submission calls, but I’m going to focus more on long form this year, including completing some of my contracted novel work and wrapping up stories already slated for self-publication (with editors already paid for editing work on most of them). But anything else as yet unassigned for self-publication, I’m going to either try to submit to good indie presses (novellas and shorter novels) or find representation (longer novels). I may still self-publish for creative control, but I might not be able to afford to do it for a while because I’m saving for an associate’s degree.

Among self-published works coming out this year, I have PUPPETEER (Thorns 4); OUT OF CURIOSITY AND HUNGER (formerly THE VERY HUNGRY), a short creature feature novel; and DEAD ENDS, a collection of morbid and macabre poetry, most previously published on social media (so I can’t sell most of them), but some have never been posted before.

I’m sick to my stomach from blowing up my life with no guarantees, because I’m not a gambler and I much prefer a sure thing, but I’m going to press on anyway, because that’s just what I have to do and have always done. And I’m going to get some rest, because that’s what I need.

Here’s hoping that writing continues to be fruitful and fulfilling and that 2023 ends up better than it feels right now.