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Amanda M. Blake

~ Of fairy tales and tentacles

Amanda M. Blake

Category Archives: Poetry

What Happened

26 Wednesday Sep 2018

Posted by amandamblake in Music, Poetry

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Tags

break-up, lyrics, not a poet, poem, sad, songwriting

close up photography of hand near window

Photo by Renato Mu on Pexels.com

This was an interesting little piece. I like the ones that feel more freestyle with the rhyming structure.

It’s a more conventional sad song than I’m used to doing, but there’s something about it that’s more poignant than I expected I’d be able to put together. So warning, break-up song ahead.

I can see it going any number of ways, from a quiet country song to a soft singer-songwriter type thing to a rock ballad. I guess it depends on emphasis.

WHAT HAPPENED

It came from nowhere
This news that you found someone
And that you’re going somewhere
Somewhere that isn’t here.

I couldn’t see the signs
The excuses and the empty lies
Sweet nothing lines and wandering eyes
Were all invisible whenever you came near.

Did I cling too close to you before
Or let you wander too freely?
Or was I just a port where you could harbor
Until you found your sweeter shore?

Chorus:
Did you love me just to watch me fall?
When you left, did you mean to take my heart with you?
Did you laugh knowing how I would break down and cry?
Did you ever even love me at all?

It’s like you can’t feel
I run through our years of movie film reels
The dust in your attic won’t dry my tears
Everything I didn’t give, you had to steal.

I check myself every day
Lists of my faults, of mistakes that I made
Ways I pushed you too far to stay
And all the heartless things you had to say.

You put me in the dark alone
Forgot me like your shirts and your heart
You decided you needed a brand new start
Without finishing the story you left back at home.

Chorus

Bridge:
I’m only paper
To fold and to tear
Your love is water
I need more than air
You leave me for dead
It’s only fair
True love is misery
You’re too happy to share.

And I don’t know what happened
I don’t understand
How you could just walk away
Without looking behind you
Taking something to remind you
That we were what happened
We
were what happened
And you threw it all away.

Chorus

 

City on the Hill

19 Wednesday Sep 2018

Posted by amandamblake in Music, Poetry

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Tags

america, american history, anger, lyrics, not a poet, patriotism, Poetry, politics, social commentary, social justice, songwriting

blue and yellow flame painting

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I’ve debated whether to share this song. I’ve shared a few other socially conscious pieces (Vultures, Fools), but this is the one I always come back to when I’m really, really angry, and that’s usually the shit that people jump on as something that needs to be extinguished immediately before someone actually expresses a negative, opposing thought or feeling.

I love you, but I’m really angry all the time. I look back at what this country came from, what it created, everything we’ve done, where we are now, and just get so frustrated how little the big things change. How progress isn’t forward but sideways. How human nature screws us over and no one listens and no one learns, and it’s always been there. It’s our entire industrious, ignominious history. It’s what we’re made of, what we built our foundation on, and I hate seeing that washed away or reframed or dismissed as though guilt and shame are somehow an irrational – or treasonous – response.

I carry with me pockets of history that seem like reflection – from the Salem Witch Trials to the Civil War to the suffragettes to the civil rights movement, from the first wave of colonists and all subsequent immigrants that all previous immigrants lamented. To everything going on now as though nothing has fucking changed at all. To a clock approaching midnight and all the gears and springs falling out, but we still keep polishing and winding the damn thing like it’s working the way it’s supposed to.

I’m mad. So I bring in the history, and I bring in the metaphors. Please don’t crucify me. (Part of sharing these songs is to take risks, and one of those risks is that people won’t like me. I don’t handle that well or sometimes at all, but I’ll probably survive. So you don’t have to like me or what I say.)

CITY ON THE HILL

Ivory-skinned pilgrims in sober black clothes
Sailed to a new world, fleeing inadequate souls
Built their city on a hill upon fields of stone
In anger and hunger, virtue took its own toll.

From scaffold and stones to chains and bones
The city rose west, boots on blood and on tears
With a vow that what came was worth all the cost
Because all of the world would rejoice we were here.

Chorus:
The city on the hill, now the city on fire
Every year’s ashes build its flames higher
From the last lighthouse another funeral pyre
Lives left in ruins by silver-tongued liars
If the city on the hill refuses to learn
Maybe it’s time to let it all burn.

We carve our casualties into weeping walls
Lock our strangers in prisons till memories fade
We draw and drown witches of all of our fears
While they float for the lies that every judge made.

We raise our own monuments, sing our own songs
Until skulls crack from all the deafening sounds
From deplorable vices cloaked in virtuous days
Burying beauty and history in unhallowed grounds.

Chorus

Bridge:
We build walls to keep out the ones we invade
And towers to rise from the bodies we laid
O new ‘Salem, O suspicion and pain
Paranoia in your heart and blood on your name.

Chorus

 

Tattoo

29 Wednesday Aug 2018

Posted by amandamblake in Music, Poetry

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Tags

lyrics, not a poet, poem, songwriting, tattoo

grayscale photo of person applying tattoo

Photo by Adrian Boustead on Pexels.com

Inspired in part by the death of Zombie Boy. It got me thinking in the direction of The Illustrated Man and some of my tattooed characters and what tattoos mean to them.

There’s no real style to the song. I don’t hear music to it yet.

TATTOO

Oh, what a tangled web he weaves
When first he practices to deceive
An open book, come enter in
Wears a skeleton on his skin
And his heart out on his sleeve
Inside out, outside in

Ink spills in the air he breathes
What he says, what he believes
Creates the world he’s living in
Wears his people on his skin
Gives away what he receives
Inside out, outside in

What you see, what you perceive
Everyone you love always leaves
When one ends, another begins
Skulls and roses on his skin
Why keep a heart when it can grieve?
Inside out, outside in

Doesn’t care what lies beneath
Colors’ pain is always brief
Hounds of hell, where have you been?
Illustrations on his skin
Showing claws, showing teeth
Inside out, outside in

Oh, what a tangled web he weaves
When first he practices to deceive
An open book, come enter in
Wears a skeleton on his skin
And his heart out on his sleeve
Inside out, outside in

Red

22 Wednesday Aug 2018

Posted by amandamblake in Music, Poetry

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Tags

fairy tale, female revenge fantasy, lyrics, not a poet, poem, red riding hood, rock, songwriting, wolf

hand full of blood

Photo by it’s me neosiam on Pexels.com

Here’s that fairy tale rock song that I wrote a couple weeks ago, even though I don’t think I’ll ever be able to use it. My voice has no natural roughness. Also, I can’t do sexy to save my life.

I recently introduced myself to Halestorm and Lzzy Hale’s amazing voice, and I guess I was inspired. So just imagine her singing it instead. If I were ever to use this song, I’d have to strip it down a lot.

RED

If you think I’m a pretty young thing
You don’t know what I’ve seen
You know what I mean
Look at my red leather, supple and lean,
Time for me to come clean
You know what I mean

Chorus:
I’m not a good girl
I’m a girl who’s gone bad
The baddest you’ve had
A little bit mad
And though I’m here walking
Alone in the woods
You’d escape if you could
From the pretty sharp teeth of
Red Riding Hood

I used to be innocent, proper and sweet
Not a girl on the street
You don’t want to meet
But a good girl knows just when she’s been beat
I need something to eat
And you’re my kind of meat.

Chorus

Look at me
Dressed in the skin
Of the wolf that I’m in
Can’t you see
You don’t know where I’ve been
But if you let me in…

[Spoken] What big eyes you have…

Don’t go away
Come in and play
If you come this way
I’ll put this knife away
And let you blow me away…

[Spoken] Why, sir, what stunning skin you have.
It would be a shame to waste it on a wolf like you.
Can you see now what little girls can do?

Chorus

Sleepwalker

15 Wednesday Aug 2018

Posted by amandamblake in Music, Poetry

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Tags

anthony bourdain, depression, ennui, lyrics, not a poet, songwriting, suicide

black and white gray grey smooth

Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

I wrote this on the same day as “Music Box” and was strongly influenced by Anthony Bourdain’s death for both.

“Sleepwalker” feels closer to the soft alt sound of Svrcina and Fleurie to me, but harsh it a little and you get Christina Perri, I think.

SLEEPWALKER

Give you all my time.
Give you heart and soul
My attention on the line
Every part and every whole

My last stitch of spirit
Until tapestry unwinds
Threads fringe and split
Wrap into the ties that bind

Chorus:
Running in place, sinking under high tide
Masks on my face, I’m living inside
Making up stories and worlds in my head
Because the world’s running wild and hard
And I’d rather be in my world instead
I’m never present, always away
Go where I’m sent, do whatever they say
They call me sleepwalker, the day’s living dead
Because the world’s running wild and hard
And I’d rather be in my world instead.

Go to bed, sleep awake
Mornings wake up weary
I offer the devil my soul to take
But pay the piper too dearly.

Waiting between work
Life’s a series of lines
Living dark to dark
Time’s slow but life flies.

Chorus

Bridge:
We fill ourselves empty, health ourselves sick
Tear out foundations, brick by dead brick
Swear on our tomes we’ve not even read
Unable to speak until we have bled.
We give up our freedom, small sacrifice
We give up our virtues for taste of a vice
Running around without any heads
We lie on the train tracks, making our beds.

Chorus

Rest of Your Life

01 Wednesday Aug 2018

Posted by amandamblake in Music, Poetry

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Tags

frustration, inaction, indecision, lyrics, mortality, not a poet, songwriting

shallow focus photography of hourglass

Photo by Jordan Benton on Pexels.com

“Rest of Your Life” is more freestyle than some of my other structured nuggets. No joke, I came up with it in the shower and kept having to leave the bathroom in the middle of drying myself off to write another few lines. Because I sure as hell ain’t going to remember it if I don’t get it down. This is why I keep notebooks everywhere.

I’m not even sure what the style would be or who it would sound like. Maybe it’s in the mode of Sara Bareilles? Maybe it’s just a poem instead of a lyric. And yes, the first verse is a nod to Hamilton.

Anyway, I’m just going to leave this here.

REST OF YOUR LIFE

I’ll admit that I thought I had time
They said I had time
Now I’ve run out of time
And it’s only harder from here.

All my life they told me you’re gonna be fine
Just follow the line
And watch for the signs
You’ll be just fine
And there’s nothing to fear.

But I look back on years of pouring the resin
And that doesn’t lessen
The pain of this lesson
To see my mistakes in all of their glory
And now mine’s a story
Heading near to the end before it begins.

This is the rest of your life
The fly caught in amber
The mammoth in ice
None of it ever really matters
The days pass, minutes by hours
And nothing ever changes
No risks and no dangers
Until no one remembers
You were here when you die

The hourglass is streaming down with the sand
I’m just the glass, the length of the strand
The more the clock ticks, the more I understand
Time falls and time flies, no matter what’s planned.

The mirror’s no clearer
And sand only gets dearer
As grain after grain slips through my hands.
And I’m the one turning the pages.
Sleepwalking through all of the stages
Playing someone else’s part in someone else’s band.

I don’t take my stand.
I remain where I land
Don’t know if I can still set myself free
If the chains are all coming from me.

This is the rest of your life
The fly caught in amber
The mammoth in ice
None of it ever really matters
The days pass, minutes by hours
And nothing ever changes
No risks and no dangers
Until no one remembers
You were here when you die

Fools

26 Thursday Jul 2018

Posted by amandamblake in Music, Poetry

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Tags

environmentalism, lyrics, not a poet, Poetry, songwriting

white stone

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Everything else is feeling too close to home right now, so I’m pulling out “Fools.” I wrote it while half-listening to Sandra McCracken’s “Fool’s Gold” (nothing like this song, just saying), but it’s always sounded more Patty Griffin in my head.

It was another attempt at an extended metaphor that ended up working in two directions. Because I can only talk about things that matter to me in the most indirect way possible, don’t you know.

FOOLS

They carve through the earth
Through granite and curse
Searching for something to make it worthwhile.
Under pressure and birth
The chisels all hurt
Cutting through veins with a wink and a smile.

The men are all strapped
They point and they laugh
Boasting that any time they’ll strike it rich.
The more cunning the craft
The more they rush past
Leaving behind nothing but holes left unstitched.

The girl don’t shine bright enough in the dark
In searching for gold, they’ve torn her apart
And when they move on, she still takes it hard
‘Cause only fools find gold after piercing a heart.

She tries so to glitter
But it’s all only glass
The soil tastes bitter
Down under the grass
The tools have all scarred her
Above and below
And Midas can’t touch
Where the red rivers flow.

For crystals and stone
They’ve left her alone
She’s cold and she’s empty with nothing to lose
The gold in their bones
She’ll save for her own
When everything they gain can no longer be used.

The girl don’t shine bright enough in the dark
In searching for gold, they’ve torn her apart
And when they move on, she still takes it hard
‘Cause only fools find gold after piercing a heart.

Vultures

18 Wednesday Jul 2018

Posted by amandamblake in Music, Poetry

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Tags

class warfare, lyrics, not a poet, Poetry, politics, racism, social commentary, song, songwriting, vultures

closeup photo of vulture

Photo by Markus Spiske freeforcommercialuse.net on Pexels.com

(I have a review of TEETH that’s been sitting in my notebook since April, but I just haven’t had a hot second to transcribe it. I’m going to try to get that in this weekend, maybe?)

“Vultures” is one of the first pieces I wrote, so naturally I wanted to do something ambitious by doing a full social commentary metaphor, because why ease into this new thing I’d never done before? But I do that a lot now to channel anger in an indirect way.

If I had to provide a style comparison for “Vultures,” it would probably lean early Sarah McLachlan.

(Apologies to actual vultures, who are awesome.)

VULTURES

Scavengers caught in cages
Different stages of difficult phases
Fangs filed, claws clipped
To the bone, wings snipped.

Ribs press against skin
As spectators stare in
At beasts who never stood a chance
And never stand a chance again.

Fresh apples in dead mouths
Fresh blood, draining down
Decaying flesh, begging hand unfurled.
When did vultures get to rule the world?

Gold glints in their eyes
Black velvet circling the skies
Safe from the kill, prey the predator’s own.
When did vultures get to rule the world?

Beasts of work, beasts of burden
Unburdened by strain of security
Best to stay low to the ground
Better to maintain the purity.

Hungry eyes, the grass is greener
Where it isn’t needed.
What’s a hare to do
With something to care for, my dear?
Just another bit of roadkill.
No one’s crying, my dear.

Carrion desiccation
Unrepentant desecration
Each poor dying soul strung like a pearl.
When did vultures get to rule the world?

Everything collapses
And dignity lapses
There’s always dissatisfaction
For them to feast upon
A battered, bloody violent reaction
For them to feast upon
As though it doesn’t matter
Which beast they feast upon.

And the predators know
To leave a generous share.
Let the thoroughfare war
Over whether it’s fair.

There’s always more dead to go around.
Always something to blame farther down on the ground.
When did vultures get to rule the world?
When did vultures get to rule the world?

Music Box

11 Wednesday Jul 2018

Posted by amandamblake in Music, Poetry

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Tags

adulting, depression, lyrics, not a poet, Poetry, songwriting

person holding pen leaning on table

Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

Another simple lyric. Since it’s called “Music Box,” I’m guessing you know what it’s supposed to sound like. It’s been another hard week.

MUSIC BOX

I rise when they raise me
I sleep when they close
Round, Rosie, round
When I stop, no one knows.

Lullaby dancer, princess ballet
I turn and I spin, pirouette and sway.
Round, Rosie, round
Forever and ever I’ll stay.

My music turned on
By someone else’s hand
Wind me up, winding down,
Still as a statue I stand.

Silhouette on a mirror
Glitter trapped in my eye
Reflection ‘comes clearer
Too porcelain to cry.

I’ll dance to your music
And bow when you close
Round, Rosie, round
When I stop, no one knows.

I’ll guard all your treasures
For here I have none
No pain and no pleasures
My music is done.

My Captain

04 Wednesday Jul 2018

Posted by amandamblake in Music, Poetry

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Tags

captain america, filk, independence day, lyrics, not a poet, Poetry

white and red flag

Photo by Aaron Schwartz on Pexels.com

A few of my friends know I was irrationally upset by the new Cap story line in the comics. Which is silly, because I don’t even read the comics. I’m a movie!verse fan.

I can’t imagine it was a symbolic way of dealing with other feelings I’ve been having or anything, since I process better through fiction. That’s just ridiculous.

Anyway, I wrote this because I just have a lot of feelings still, even after the storyline in the comics resolved itself. Must be nice.

MY CAPTAIN

O Captain, My Captain
Emblem of an anthem left long behind
The last living legend, ice and time confined
Willing to walk that harrowing line
O Captain, My Captain
She has your heart, so you can use mine.

O Captain, My Captain
Ideal icon of the land that I love
Is it too much that we’re asking you of?
Land of the warhawk, while you hold a dove
O Captain, My Captain
We don’t deserve, but you’re never enough.

Bridge:
You’re everything we dreamed we could be
You stand for all we should be
But until we know why we made thee
Fight for what we thought we would be.

O Captain, My Captain
Betrayal hurt more than I could have known
False idol, false friend, forging a false throne
The one in your place denied, to fight alone
O Captain, My Captain
Tell me, what have we done?
O Captain, My Captain
Tell me what we have become.

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